


Tell Me Like it is.

by facepalm918



Series: Right In Front of You [1]
Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Big Brother Bellamy Blake, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Octavia Blake & Clarke Griffin are Best Friends, Silly, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-09
Updated: 2019-01-13
Packaged: 2019-10-07 00:15:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 31,775
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17355317
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/facepalm918/pseuds/facepalm918
Summary: ."What? Oh, no." Clarke absently replied as she continued to pace back and forth. "She's home. But I didn't want to talk to her.""And you decided I'd be the best person to talk to why?" He asked dumb founded. It was no secret that Bellamy was hardly friends with his little sister's best friend. He barely tolerated her at best. They often bickered or full out fought whenever Bellamy found a free night to hang out with their common group of friends."I didn't want to talk to someone I actually like right now." She sighed as she walked. Bellamy nodded as though he understood but in all honesty he wasn't sure she was making any real sense at the moment.*** or the one where Bellamy is the only person Clarke wants to talk to at the moment.





	1. Tell Me Like it is

Bellamy stirred in his nice comfortable bed and attempted to find a new position to relax in. His mind absently wondered why he was half awake but he pushed the thought aside as he tried to drift off again. Suddenly an obnoxious amount of knocks banged against what he assumed was his front door causing him to sit straight up in surprise. He looked over at the small clock that rested on his night stand and read the time, 4:32 AM, which meant it was actually 3:32 since he hadn't bothered to change the time the last time they had set the clocks back an hour. 

"Who the hell is at my door at 3 fricken 30 on a Wednesday?" He grumbled to himself and slowly tumbled out of his bed. He grabbed at the old t-shirt he had thrown over his desk chair the night before and headed out of his room.  
The loud banging continued with a renewed determination and Bellamy gritted his teeth with anger.

"Octavia, if you're drunk again I swear I'm going to," He ripped the door open and looked down to see not the dark straight hair of his younger sister but a head of soft blonde curls.

"Clarke?" He asked quietly, not really sure he was seeing out of his sleepy eyes quite right.

"Can I come in?" She huffed more as a courtesy and less as an actual question.

"Uh...." His mind raced to find a reasonable excuse to keep her out, besides the fact that it was the middle of the night and he had work in just a few hours.

She didn't wait for him to complete his answer though and pushed him to the side and marched into his small house.

"Ya, sure. Please come in and make yourself at home." He grumbled to himself before he closed his door. 

"I'm sorry. I just couldn't go home yet because I need to talk to someone before I absolutely implode."   
She dragged her hands through her hair and paced in front of him. Her agitation was clear, anger and frustration seemed to roll off her with each movement.  
"Is O not home?" He asked her with some concern. He couldn't remember Octavia telling him she would be gone tonight and since she and Clarke shared an apartment together it made more sense to him that she would go home and talk to her, unless of course she wasn't around.  
"Please tell me she isn't with Lincoln tonight." He groaned and wasn't convinced he really wanted to hear the answer.

"What? Oh, no." Clarke absently replied as she continued to pace back and forth. "She's home. But I didn't want to talk to her."

"And you decided I'd be the best person to talk to why?" He asked dumb founded. It was no secret that Bellamy was hardly friends with his little sister's best friend. He barely tolerated her at best. They often bickered or full out fought whenever Bellamy found a free night to hang out with their common group of friends.

"I didn't want to talk to someone I actually like right now." She sighed as she walked. Bellamy nodded as though he understood but in all honesty he wasn't sure she was making any real sense at the moment.

"Clarke, sit. You're going to wear a hole in my floor and you're driving me nuts." He tried to keep the annoyance out of his voice but some how talking to Clarke always managed to set his tone on edge even when he didn't mean it to. He grabbed at the t-shirt he had flung onto his shoulder and tugged it on before he attempted to escort the irritated and distracted young woman to his couch.

"Sit." He ordered again and watched as she finally conceded and sat on the very edge of the large leather cushion. She bounced her legs up and down and he rolled his eyes again.

"So, are you going to talk or..."

"Finn's been cheating on me. Or I guess I should say he's been cheating on his girlfriend with me. He's had two girlfriends. Though the other girl has been with him for roughly five years. So that would make me the other woman. Oh, man." She groaned and covered her face with her hands. "I swear I had no idea. How could I have? I suppose he was on the phone a lot some nights but he always said it was work. I had no reason to question him. And here he was dating another girl behind my back the entire time!"

"Breathe." Bellamy said with what he hoped was a kind tone. 

"I don't want to breathe, Bellamy!" She suddenly shouted and pounded her fists down onto her thighs, "I want to punch something. No, scratch that. I want to punch someone!"

"So you came here. That actually explains everything." He tried to tease but his joke fell flat in the tense air.

"I knew if I went home Octavia would either vow to go kill Finn or force me to down a pint of moose tracks and tell her everything."

"And that's not what you wanted." He tried again as he sat on the seat next to her.

"Clearly not." She huffed out.

They sat in silence for what felt like eternity and Bellamy tried to think of something, anything, to say to make Clarke feel better. He was still hung up on the fact that she had chosen to drag him out of bed instead of his sister or one of her many other friends. She had said she didn't want to talk to anyone she liked. He actually did get that. Octavia or Harper would have insisted on hearing everything and would have told her she was better off with out him. They would have told her what she wanted to hear. But she had chosen not to go that route. Instead, she had chosen to seek him out instead. 

"So what are you going to do about it?" He finally asked with only mild interest.

"What am I going to do about what?" She asked startled.

"Are you going to take him back?"

"What? Are you insane? Of course not. He lied to me the entire time we were together. I'm not that desperate for a boyfriend, Bellamy." She spit out his name with frustration, but he only nodded.

"Ok, so you move on."

"I move on."

"Right. He was an asshole. He's not worth letting it get you down for too long. Cry, cuss, punch something, do whatever you have to and then move on." He shrugged at her and yawned as he fell back against the couch. 

"That's your advice?" She asked quietly.

"Sorry, Princess. If you wanted someone to sugar coat it or go over the list of all his flaws with you then you should have woken up Octavia or Harper. I don't do break up drama."

"No," She started and looked down at the floor, "no, you're right. He's not worth crying over for long. Shoot, I'm not even that heartbroken over him. I just feel like such an idiot!"

"Well, if it makes you feel any better I'm just as shocked as you are. How a guy like Finn could get two girls to go out with him will be one of the world's greatest mysteries. I for one would never have guessed it." He smirked when he saw the small smile begin to play on her lips. She swatted at his leg and stifled a laugh.

"He was not that bad."

"How long did he spend on his hair every day?" Bellamy continued to tease. Clarke tried to give him a stern look but the laughter that had been just under the surface finally bubbled up and she couldn't help it any longer. She laughed next to him and he felt like he had triumphed at something important. 

"You're horrible." She finally breathed in between bouts of laughter.

"The worst." He agreed and closed his eyes with a victorious grin.

"Holy crap!" Clarke suddenly gasped, "It's almost 4! I didn't realize it was this late!" She gave Bellamy a sheepish grin and pushed some of her hair behind her ear, "I am so sorry for waking you up like that." She bit her lip and looked at her hands. A light blush crept over her face and Bellamy lazily eyed her from his relaxed position on the couch. 

"Don't worry about it, Princess." He said the usually cutting nickname with kindness and she looked up at him with a small smile.

"I guess I'll have to figure out how to tell Octavia and everyone else without having to deal with all the pity and 'lets kill Finn,' talks." She sighed.

"Yep, but can you figure that out on your own time? Preferably at a normal waking hour?" He closed his eyes again and longed for sleep.

"Deal." She replied with a loud yawn of her own. Bellamy's eye flew open to catch her nodding forward a bit as the adrenaline and heat from earlier seemed to flow out of her body leaving her exhausted and deflated.

"Here." He said and stood to retrieve a blanket from the back of the chair that sat next to the couch. "Just don't slobber on my new pillows ok?" He threw the blanket at her and started to walk towards his bedroom.

"You're disgusting." She called after him. "Bellamy?" She suddenly said quieter. He stopped and turned his head to look at her better. "Thank you." She offered with a genuine smile.

"You're welcome, Clarke." He smiled back and left the room.


	2. Muddy Knees and Taped Notes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "You are so annoying." Octavia whined and sprawled across the soft neatly made comforter on Clarke's bed.
> 
> "I went to Bellamy's." Clark finally admitted quietly before she walked out the door of her room and headed for the front of the apartment.
> 
> "You What!?" Octavia shouted and chased after her once she got over the initial shock.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whoa, this came together faster than I anticipated. Hope you enjoy it!

"That little twirp!" Octavia growled and narrowed her eyes.

"My thoughts exactly." Clarke nodded in agreement.

"So what did she say? His other girlfriend? Did she come at you?"

"She was actually pretty cool about it. I guess she could tell I had no idea she existed. But she was more than happy to let Finn have it."

"Good!" The dark haired girl nodded with a wicked smile, "He deserves everything he's got coming to him! So what are we going to do?"

"To Finn?" Clarke asked while shoving her art supplies and sketchbook into her already overflowing bag.

"Duh." Octavia exaggerated the exclamation as she plopped down onto Clarke's bed and watched her friend rush around her room to gather her things for class.

"Nothing."

"Nothing?"

"Right. I'm going to move on."

"Move on."

Clarke finished up packing her things and gave her friend an exasperated look.

"That's what I said."

"Wait, you said Raven showed up after you guys got back from the concert. Where did you go after that?" Octavia's eyebrows knit together as she went over the morning's bizarre events. She had woken up to discover Clarke's room empty along with the rest of the apartment. Just seconds before Octavia had decided on sending out a search party Clarke had walked into the small studio apartment and unleashed the crazy tale of the night before, which caused Octavia to completely forget that she had been home alone when the alarm had alerted her that she was already running late for the day.

"I had to think through some things." Clark stated while pushing her hair behind her ear, an obvious tell that she was nervous and or lying.

"So you what? Drove around all night?"

"No."

"You are so annoying." Octavia whined and sprawled across the soft neatly made comforter on Clarke's bed.

"I went to Bellamy's." Clark finally admitted quietly before she walked out the door of her room and headed for the front of the apartment.

"You What!?" Octavia shouted and chased after her once she got over the initial shock.

"I went and talked to Bellamy about it. At 3:30 in the morning." Clarke grimaced at the words coming from her mouth and bent down to focus on putting on her shoes. She pretended to be engrossed in zipping up her long knee length boots and kept her eyes down so she wouldn't have to meet Octavia's round questioning ones.

"Oh, right." Octavia leaned against the wall and crossed her arms while nodding her head, "That makes perfect sense. You find out your boyfriend is cheating on you so you go straight to the one person you hate."

"I never said I hated him, Octavia."

"And I quote, 'Octavia, I hate your black hearted brother with every fiber of my being.'"

"I was eight years old, O. I also said I was going to marry Joe Jonas. I'm running super late. Can we talk about this later? I promise to explain tonight. Pizza? My treat."

"Whatever." Her friend responded with resignation just as Clarke dashed out the door and away from the awkward conversation.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

_"Uh oh, is the new girl gonna cry?" The large red headed boy had been taunting Clarke all day but the bullying had hit a new low when he sought her out on the playground as she waited for her mom and ripped the book she had been reading out of her hands._

_"Give it back." She replied sternly while attempting to hide her emotions. Obviously she was failing when she felt the sting of tears in her eyes and the cool tickle of a single tear as it made its way down her face. She quickly brushed at the tear with the sleeve of her brand new spring jacket and held out her hand to the boy._

_"What are you going to do if I don't? Tell mommy to buy you a new one?" He sneered at her. His stupid grin sent her over the edge and before she knew what she was doing she had stood up and charged him. He grabbed at her arm and pushed it behind her back. She let out a sharp gasp as the pain in her shoulder forced her down onto her knees._

_"I take karate, idiot." He spat at her._

_"I just want my book back." She tried again._

_"I just want my book back." He mimicked her._

_"Issac, let her go you jerk!" A girl about Clarke's size yelled at the boy as he continued to pull on Clarke's arm at an odd angle._

_"This is none of your business Octavia!" The boy yelled back. He pushed on Clarke's arm again with more force and she suddenly tasted dirt as he pressed the side of her face into the wood chips and mud._

_"Get off of me!" She mumbled._

_"You better let her go, Isaac! Or you'll regret it!" The girl, Octavia, screamed back. When Isaac didn't let go Octavia started to run, in the wrong direction. Isaac started to laugh and looked down at Clarke,_

_"I guess her bark is worse than her bite!" He sneered and then looked down at her book, "Lets see here, what do we have. Maniac McGee. What kind of crap book is that?" He furrowed his brow at the book and Clarke couldn't stop herself from responding._

_"It's about racism and bigotry. But I'm sure the words would be too big for your little mind to comprehend." Dumb Clarke, dumb. She thought to herself just as Isaac threw her book down into a mud puddle and began to shove her face further into the dirt._

_"Hey!" A loud deep voice barked from far away, "Get off of her." Clarke could hear footsteps drawing closer as they pounded on the asphalt nearby but she didn't dare open her eyes for fear of getting splinters in them. Suddenly Isaac let her go and Clarke rolled over onto her back so that she could see what was going on._

_"You think you're some sort of tough guy cause you can beat up little girls?" A tall skinny boy stared Isaac down with cold dark eyes. He stood a good two feet taller than Isaac and when he crossed his arms over his chest a slight definition of muscles could be seen in his biceps. Next to him stood the girl that had yelled at Isaac earlier. Octavia glanced between the taller boy and Isaac and then strode over to Clarke. She held out her hand and nodded for Clarke to take it._

_"If I ever see or hear about you bothering her ever again I'll beat you within an inch of your life, got it?" The tall boy threatened with an eerie calm. Isaac backed away without a word and then tore around to run. Octavia laughed and Clarke looked between the two dark haired kids in front of her._

_"I'm Octavia." The girl finally said after she stopped laughing. "And this," She nodded at the boy next to her, "is my brother Bellamy."_

_"I'm Clarke." She smiled and began wiping at the dirt on her face. "Thank you." Bellamy gave her a once over and nodded._

_"Ready O?" He asked gruffly._

_"Sure. Are you walking Clarke or..."_

_"My mom should be coming soon." Clarke made a point to look around but still didn't see any sign of her mom's car. She hadn't really expected her mom to be on time, but she had hoped it wouldn't take this long for her to pick her up after her first day at a new school._

_"You should sit inside by the office to wait for her. You're less likely to get harrassed that way." Bellamy sighed and gave Clarke an annoyed look._

_"Thanks, but I'm fine. I can handle myself."_

_"Sure princess." Bellamy smirked at her, "You seemed to be doing pretty well with that a few minutes ago."_

_"Lay off her Bel." Octavia punched him in the arm, earning herself a cocked eyebrow along with an eye roll._

_"I'm just saying the pipsqueak is an easy target. There's no need to make it so easy for the bullies."_

_Clarke's jaw fell slack and she stared at the older boy that stood arrogantly in front of her._

_"Are you saying this is my fault?" She accused him._

_"I don't know what sort of high and mighty school you used to go to where victim shaming wasn't a thing," He looked down at her with an amused expression, "but here we learn to either stick up for ourselves or get out of the way. I'd suggest getting out of the way." With that he started walking._

_"Come on Octavia." He called over his shoulder._

_"I'm going to wait with Clarke." Octavia yelled back with defiance._

_"Whatever." Her brother grumbled as he pulled headphones over his floppy black hair, "But, I'm not bailing you out when mom grounds you for being late again."_

_"Don't worry," Octavia said to Clarke as the girls went to sit down on the bench close by, "my mom rarely gets mad at me, what with Mr. moody over there." She jabbed her thumb over her shoulder and giggled. Clarke looked at the girl and found herself giggling as well. It was the first time she had genuinely laughed all day._

_"Octavia?" Clarke sighed at the girl next to her._

_"Ya?"_

_"I hate your black hearted brother with every fiber of my being." At first Clarke worried she had gone too far and had said the wrong thing when Octavia did nothing but stare at her with complete shock. But suddenly the girl's round shock filled eyes squeezed together as she fell apart into a fit of laughter. Clarke smiled at her and felt her shoulders ease from their tension._

_"No, you're right!" Octavia exclaimed. "My brother is no knight in shining armor and you are the first girl to finally see that! I think we're going to be best friends Clarke!" She swung an arm over Clarke's shoulder and the two talked until Clarke's mother finally showed up, forty-five minutes later._

_~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~_

The day had been long and exhausting for Clarke. She had so many papers and projects to turn in that she had very few chances to find herself dwelling on the fact that less than twenty-four hours ago she had discovered that her boyfriend of nearly 7 months had been cheating on her. Or rather had been cheating on his other girlfriend with her. She had thought very little about it for the majority of the early afternoon until she caught a glimpse of Finn rounding the corner just ahead of her as she walked towards the mess hall. She had quickly turned around and decided lunch wasn't worth bumping into him.

Once her final class had wrapped up and Clarke had gathered all of her things her stomach began to grumble and she sighed when she came to the realization that she didn't have anything else keeping her from picking up a pizza and heading home to give in and tell Octavia everything.

 

Her roommate and best friend of  almost thirteen years greedily grabbed the pizza box from her hands the minute Clarke walked through the door.

"Since when do you take this long to get home!?" Octavia bellowed as she walked towards the small kitchen to the right of the door. 

"Since I bothered to go all the way to Flying Pie and get your favorite." Clarke huffed while taking her jacket off and hanging it up. She bent down to unzip her boots and then kicked them off without any real concern for where they landed.

"Flying Pie? Wow, you're either apologizing or admitting to something. Which is it." The slightly taller brunette gave Clarke a grin and pulled at the lid of the box after she placed it on the island's countertop. 

"Apologizing, I guess." Clarke admitted and slumped onto the first barstool she could reach. "For what I'm not exactly sure."

"How about scaring me half to death by not being home this morning. Or for not telling me about Finn before you told my freaking brother." Octavia rolled her eyes and grabbed at a slice of pizza. The cheese hung on to the remaining pieces and Clarke watched in wonder as the ooey goodness stretched while Octavia pulled on it. Her stomach growled and both girls laughed.

"Ok, fine. First we eat, then you dish." Octavia dove into her slice and Clarke grabbed her own. 

 

"So what do you want to know?" Clarke asked after taking a swig of her hard cider, Octavia's own offering as an apology for jumping all over Clarke that morning.

"Why did you go see Bellamy of all people?" Octavia wasted no time in asking. The girls lounged on the couch that sat just to the left of their kitchen, each sitting with their backs against the arms of the couch so that they could see one another easily. Clarke shrugged at Octavia's question and thought it over before she answered.

"I guess I just wanted someone to tell me like it was. I wanted to truth about how I should feel and respond." She shrugged again and began peeling the label off her bottle.

"I would tell you the truth." Octavia quietly said with some hurt. Clarke nodded but refused to look at her friend.

"Ya, eventually you would. But I needed someone who didn't worry about hurting my feelings or didn't try too hard to make me feel better. I just wanted someone to give me the facts."

"I guess that makes sense. And Bellamy is definitely the person to talk to if you don't want someone to care about how you feel." She laughed and prodded Clarke with her toes. "Did he succeed in being heartless and uncaring?"

"Actually, it was one of the better moments I've had with Bellamy." Clarke laughed as she remembered the sleepy look he had had in his eyes the minute he opened the door to her. His hair an been wild and a mess but she had barely noticed at first when she had pushed her way into his house. The memory made her blush and she closed her eyes in embarrassment.

"That look better not mean you're suddenly crushing on my brother, Griffin." Octavia stated sternly.

"What!?" Clarke's eyes flew open and landed on Octavia's serious expression.

"What? It would be your typical damsel in distress and knight in shining armor scenario. You just said you actually had a civil conversation with him. Are you going to get all starry eyed now?" Octavia pouted and looked down at the bottle in her hand. Clarke knew that up until Clarke, and even occasionally  afterwards, girls had befriended Octavia a thousand times over just to get close to the older Blake and the broken pieces of their hearts had been left for Octavia to clean up. One of the things the younger sister loved most about Clarke was that she was immune to Bellamy's good looks and protective tendencies. 

"Absolutely not, Octavia Blake!" Clarke nearly shouted. "After our 'good talk' he threw a blanket at me and told me not to slobber on his pillows. Typical Bellamy, nice and helpful one minute and a complete jackass the next."

"Typical Bellamy." Octavia smiled and tipped her drink back. "Wait, you mean you slept over there? He actually let you sleep at his house?"

Clarke shrugged and downed the last of her drink and then leaned over to place the bottle on the coffee table.

"It was almost 4 by the time we stopped talking." She shrugged again and then her face suddenly beamed with humor, "He left me a note this morning."

"A note? Like a 'have a good day' note? Or a 'I'm sorry about your boyfriend' type of note?"

"Do either of those sound like Bellamy to you?" Clarke started to laugh, "All it said was, 'you better lock up when you leave.'" Both girls started laughing at the ridiculousness of Octavia's brother but Clarke laughed even harder and pushed on to add, "Oh and I forgot the best part! He actually taped it to my forehead!" Octavia burst out laughing and nearly sprayed Clarke with the remains of her hard cider.

"Typical Bellamy." Clarke breathed out.

"Typical, fricken, Bellamy." Octavia raised her bottle in salute.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Admit it, you secretly hoped Bellamy had made Clarke breakfast and gave her some more helpful advice ;) But I just love bratty Bellamy. 
> 
> As always kudos and comments are welcomed!


	3. The Tough Dont Fall

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Let. Her. Go." Bellamy said with an icy calm.  
> Clarke felt the hesitation in Finn's hands and she took advantage of his weakened hold. She brought her own hands up and knocked his arms away from her with enough force to set him off balance. She backed up and ran into Bellamy who stood his ground but kept his arms across his chest.  
> "Clarke!" Finn pleaded and tried to reach for her again. Suddenly Bellamy's arm shot in front of her before the rest of him settled in between the arguing couple.  
> "Touch her again and I swear I'll..."  
> "Bellamy," Clarke hissed from behind him and grabbed at his right arm which he still had sticking out in a protective stance. "It's fine. I've got this."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There are some elements of bullying in this chapter. Nothing graphic but I thought I'd add the warning.

Friday proved to be a much harder time to avoid Finn since Clarke shared an early morning art class with him. She had contemplated not going, no one really understood why she had signed up for the early class anyways. But, she didn't want to give Finn the satisfaction of knowing he had hurt her. She had also considered going all out and dressing in one of her favorite sweaters that showed off her curves and paired really well with her new black boots, but she decided that was too obvious. So instead she opted for her usual school attire, ripped jeans, a t-shirt and a random baggy hoodie that she had found on the couch a few days back. She looked herself over in the mirror and decided a messy french braid would vamp up her appearance just a bit but not in a way that would make it clear that she was trying to make Finn feel like an idiot for cheating on her.

When she walked into the sunlit art room Clarke did everything she could to not look over to the corner she knew Finn would be sitting. The same corner where she usually sat. She pulled at her cross body bag and slowly made her way to the opposite side of the room.

"Clarke." Finn suddenly breathed from up ahead. She looked in his direction and gave him a single nod in acknowledgement, she figured she could at least be civil.

"Clarke, your seat is open. You could..." He left the statement opened and waited for her to make her way over to him. Instead she chose a seat in the opposite corner and set her bag down on the ground so that she could easily pull out her sketch pad and charcoals.

"Clarke," Finn sighed as he said her name and she nearly jumped at how close it sounded. She turned her head to look over at him but discovered him standing  right beside her easel.

"I need to work on my project Finn." She whispered, not wanting to draw any attention to herself despite the class being nearly empty.

"We need to talk." He simply stated and gave her a look that could only be described as puppy dog eyes.

"We talked plenty on Wednesday night. And this isn't the place or the time for that type of conversation." She hissed as she flipped the pages in her sketchbook until she found her latest project.

"When else would I talk to you? You won't answer my calls or texts, and you avoided me all day yesterday." He pulled up a stool from the next easel over and sat down with determination. She eyed him from the corners of her eyes and watched as he crossed his arms to express that he wasn't giving up that easily.

"Finn, there is nothing to talk about." She sighed and put her charcoal pencil down so that she could focus on him. She turned slightly and gave him her full attention. "You had another girlfriend the entire time we dated. You lied to me the entire time. That's not something I can just accept and get over."

"I was clearly in the wrong Clarke." He began rubbing at the back of his neck and looked down at the floor in shame. "Raven, she's important to me. She's like family. But, I haven't felt that way towards her for a long time. I just didn't know how to tell her. I sort of assumed that me moving so far away for school would eventually break us apart but it didn't work out quite like I had hoped. I was going to tell her, but she never made it very easy. And then I met you." He looked up through his long eyelashes and tried to flash her a brilliant smile. Any other day and that look would have made her weak in the knees. But, today all it did was make her feel slimy and repulsed. "I really like you, Clarke. I don't want to lose you."

She shook her head and turned back to her drawing, a piece she had been working on for weeks. The painstakingly delicate lines and shading worked together to create her favorite place in the whole world, Mount Weather. Her family's old cabin took up most of the drawing but she had worked to include various other things she had loved about the secluded and beautiful woods. She had started the intricate drawing back when she had realized that she was truly happy and enjoying her life for the first time in a long time. Now it almost felt like a cheap imitation of what life truly was, hard. 

"We're done, Finn. I don't have time to be with someone that doesn't respect me enough to tell me the truth. And you just admitted that you couldn't even tell Raven the truth for a long time, so why would I ever trust you again?"

"Clarke, I..."

"It's over," She cut him off, "Don't make this messier than it has to be." And with that she blocked him out with her earbuds and set to work on the project that she no longer had the heart for.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

_"You promised me, Jake." Clarke's mother's voice rang out throughout the whole house as the young girl entered the front door after her friend's mom had dropped her off from a playdate. She quietly shut the door behind her so that her parents wouldn't know that she had made it home._

_"This is too important, Abby." Her father's voice pleaded._

_"You told me you would stop snooping around. This could cost you everything! Your job, your home, your life!"_

_"Don't be so dramatic. No one is going to kill me over this."_

_"Jaha is not someone you should be going up against, Jake. He will not take it lightly if you expose the truth about what he's been working on."_

_"So you what? You suggest I just sit idly by and allow them to continue? I'm sorry, Abby, but I just can't do that."_

_"The matter at hand is that you lied to me. You lied straight to my face. You said you were no longer investigating what they were testing in the labs. You promised me you were done with it! And do you want to know what the worst part is? I honestly had no idea you had lied. You did it so well. You looked me in the eye every single day for the last month and told me story after story about your days at work and never once did I question if you were lying to me."_

_Clarke could hear the hurt and sadness in her mother's voice as it trembled across the house into the foyer where Clarke continued to stand stock still so that she could listen in on her parent's argument. It had been a while since they had fought, but it brought back all the memories of the hushed arguments and stony glares that passed between them months ago. She didn't completely understand what they were always fighting about, something about Clarke's father's business doing something illegal or unethical? Her mother was against him looking into it and Clarke found that she had to agree with her. She was a daddy's girl through and through and the thought of her father getting hurt, or worse, scared her._

_"I can't trust you any longer, Jake." Abby Griffin suddenly sniffled. "I can't be with someone that doesn't respect me enough to tell me the truth. And I will not put my daughter through this any longer. Did you even think about what this would do to her if something happened to you? She is only six! And she dotes on you. I...I can't do this anymore."_

_Clarke heard the sound of footsteps and she quickly opened the front door and slammed it shut loudly,_

_"I'm home!" She shouted to the now quiet house._

_~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~_

"Is that what you're wearing?" Octavia looked Clarke over with disapproval. She still had on her jeans and the baggy sweatshirt from earlier in the day. She had gone to the trouble of putting on makeup and redoing her hair though, since she knew Octavia would be on her about not sulking and getting back out there.

"Yes." She simply said and grabbed her purse from the kitchen island. 

"Clarke, it's a Friday night. You are young and beautiful. Can you at least look like you're trying to move on?" Her friend sighed as she leaned against the wall and assessed Clarke once more.

"It's been less than two days, Octavia. I'm not exactly going out to find a new boyfriend or a guy at all! I'm hanging out with my friends. I look fine." She emphasized fine and headed for the door.

"Fine." Octavia dragged out. 

 

The two rode together in Clarke's old beat up jeep and sang along to the radio the entire way to the bar that their friends had long ago claimed as their usual hangout. It was easily one of Clarke's favorite places. Originally Octavia had tried to drag them all to a slightly newer and more club like bar, but everyone had agreed that the old quiet charm of O'Mally's was what they all really wanted in a place to unwind and relax after another stressful week of classes and dead end jobs. And it didn't hurt that they knew the occasional bartender who could get them the good stuff at a discount.

"Is Bellamy working tonight?" Clarke asked as the girls walked from the parking lot to the bar.

"As far as I know." Octavia shrugged. "Have you talked to him since, you know?"

"Since I barged into his house at 4 AM and forced him to listen to my drama? No." Clarke sighed.

"Well this should be fun." Octavia laughed and led the way into the dimly lit bar. The girls looked around and quickly found their group of friends hanging out at the bar talking to Bellamy. Clarke sighed again and built up the courage to walk over, knowing that by the end of the night everyone would know about her and Finn.

"There they are!" Jasper Jordan suddenly shouted from the end of the bar that was furthest away from them. "My ladies!" He slightly bowed his head and gestured towards them. "You're the last ones here, so you know what that means! Next rounds on them!" He shouted and everyone else laughed and shouted along with him. 

Clarke grinned at her friends and took a seat next to Harper who was busy whispering something into Monty's ear. She looked over to the other side of the bar and caught Bellamy glaring at her.

"Hey, can I get.."

"Are you wearing my sweatshirt?" Bellamy suddenly cut her off and came to stand in front of her with his hands gripping the edge of the bar.

"Um, I'm wearing **_a_** sweatshirt." She shrugged.

"It's mine." He stated. 

"Well it was at _my_ apartment." She said back, "Finders keepers."

Bellamy rolled his eyes and turned to get a glass from the back shelf, "Just make sure you wash it before you give it back." He grumbled. He worked to fill up the glass from the tap and then pushed it at her.

"I didn't tell you what I wanted." She furrowed her brow at the beer in front of her.

"And yet, you have a drink in front of you. Most people say thank you." He smirked and turned to a man that had walked up to order.

Clarke rolled her eyes and took a sip of the beer. She tried to hold back a grimace but the bitter liquid made her want to gag. She had never been a beer drinker and Bellamy knew that. Why was he always such a jerk?

She looked around her and listened to the easy conversation and occasional  bouts of laughter that came from her friends. She tried to focus on what was being said and lamely offered up a smile from time to time, but her heart just wasn't in it that night. Every so often she'd find her mind wandering and then she'd look up to see Bellamy smirking at her. Eventually he had placed a bottle of Ace Pear Cider, her favorite, in front of her and she tipped it at him in a silent thanks. He had simply grinned at her and walked away. He was always so confusing and annoying.

She had all but given up on actually being a part of the conversation that night when someone suddenly sat down beside her and lightly brushed up against her arm. She glanced over to apologize for being over too far but the words caught in her throat when she recognized the full head of soft brown hair.

"Hey Clarke." Finn gently said to her.

She pinched the bridge of her nose and stared straight ahead at the back shelf behind the bar.

"Finn..." She started.

"Please just listen to what I have to say."

"I don't want to listen to what you have to say. I want you to leave me alone." She calmly stated without looking at him.

He grabbed her arm and attempted to pull her around to look at him but she resisted.

"Clarke, please.."

"I think she said she didn't want to talk." Bellamy suddenly growled from in front of them, his eyes shooting daggers at Finn's hand on Clarke's arm. 

Finn let go of Clarke's arm and threw up his hands in mock surrender.

"Hey, I just want to have a calm conversation with her, man. This is between me and Clarke."

"And I told you I didn't want to talk." Clarke stated again, hoping Finn would finally give up. She looked over to see Octavia staring Finn down with the same expression her older brother had been wearing just moments before. The younger Blake's eyes flickered over to Clarke for a moment and Clarke rolled her eyes but gave her friend a small smile. Octavia laughed and returned to the conversation she was having with Jasper and Monty.

"I just need five minutes." Finn quietly said from beside her. Clarke sighed and turned around to face him, not missing the way Bellamy was still throwing them menacing glances as he worked to fill more drinks. 

"Fine, five minutes and then we are done." She conceded.

"Can we go to the table in the corner?" He asked with a victorious grin.

"Fine." She huffed and slid off her stool. Her friends had suddenly seemed to stop talking and watched as she begrudgingly followed Finn to the small booth in the corner. She had only managed to tell Harper a little bit about what had happened but she was sure that now Octavia would be filling them all in on what had occurred on Wednesday night.

"You have five minutes." She stated and sat across from him on the hard curved bench of the booth. Finn attempted to grab her hand but she pulled both of them off the table and rested them in her lap.

"It's over between Raven and I." Finn started. Clarke couldn't help but let the humorless chuckle escape her mouth.

"You don't say." She shook her head.

"I explained to her that things hadn't been the same since she graduated and started college."

"Finn, that was four years ago." Clarke said as she remembered Raven explaining to her that she had graduated a year ahead of Finn but had gone to college close by. It wasn't until Finn was accepted at the University of Washington that they had been more than twenty minutes apart.

"I know. We had only really been dating a year at that point but we had been friends for our entire lives. I didn't know how to break it off with her without losing her friendship. Besides, she went through some stuff with her mom that year and needed me."

"None of that excuses what you did."

"I know." He hung his head in shame, "But I love you, Clarke." He looked at her then and her heart did a strange little flip before the reality of the situation sunk back in.

"You don't know the true meaning of love, Finn." She simply stated. "Is that it? Is that what you wanted to tell me?" She watched him as he grasped for something to say and stood when he sat back in defeat.

"Clarke!" He shouted and suddenly jumped up to stand beside her. He grabbed her arms when she turned around to tell him to leave her alone. She took in a sharp breathe as his fingers dug into the fleshy part of the upper arms and she took in the slightly crazed stare he gave her.

"I can't lose you." He rushed on.

"Let go of me." She hissed at him but he simply held on tighter. Tears pricked at her eyes as the intense sharp pain suddenly took over her senses.

"You have to understand, I want us to be together. I want to be with you. You mean everything to me."

"You're hurting me." She tried to pull away but he continued to hold her.

"You're not listening to me!" He argued and pulled her closer to himself despite Clarke's attempts to break free.

"Let her go Collins." A deep gravelly voice said from behind Clarke. She didn't have to turn around to know Bellamy was standing just a few feet behind her with a look that could kill.

"This doesn't concern you, Bellamy." Finn shouted back, his eyes still trained on Clarke's. "I love you. You have to believe me."

"Finn, I'm going to tell you one last time to let her go or...."

"Is that it?" Finn's eyes suddenly grew large and he continued to stare her down, "You're with him now?"

"What?" Bellamy and Clarke exclaimed in unison. Had Finn gone completely insane?

"You are aren't you?" He glared at her, his eyes wild with accusation.

"Finn, I don't know what is wrong with you but you really need to let me go. You're hurting me." Clarke said feeling afraid of him for the first time. She suddenly felt the heat of someone standing directly behind her and she looked over to see Bellamy glaring at the man that held her too tight. He had his arms crossed tightly against his chest and Clarke could see his knuckles turning white as he held back the desire to punch Finn in the face.

"Let. Her. Go." Bellamy said with an icy calm.

Clarke felt the hesitation in Finn's hands and she took advantage of his weakened hold. She brought her own hands up and knocked his arms away from her with enough force to set him off balance. She backed up and ran into Bellamy who stood his ground but kept his arms across his chest.

"Clarke!" Finn pleaded and tried to reach for her again. Suddenly Bellamy's arm shot in front of her before the rest of him settled in between the arguing couple.

"Touch her again and I swear I'll..."

"Bellamy," Clarke hissed from behind him and grabbed at his right arm which he still had sticking out in a protective stance. "It's fine. I've got this." He glanced behind himself and smirked at Clarke just like he had done so many times when they were kids and he had had to step in whenever the bullying became too much. The expression set Clarke on edge and she had to fight the impulse to punch the person that was attempting to help her out. Instead she slipped around his arm and came face to face with Finn again.

"I want you to get out and leave me alone. You will not talk to me in class, you will not show up at my favorite places, and you sure as hell will not call me or text me ever again. Do you get that?" She narrowed her eyes at him and waited for his response. Finn stared at her for what felt like forever but Clarke refused to back down or look away. Finally he hung his head and slowly nodded.

"I want to hear you say it." She hissed.

"I promise I will leave you alone." He said softly as though he were breaking on the inside. Clarke refused to let her heart stir or ache for the man that had clearly lost his head just now. She turned and gave him space to walk past her and out of the bar. From behind her she could hear Jasper applauding and whoop whooping like a crazy person, but she wasn't ready to celebrate just yet. She spun around on her heels and glared at the smug looking man that stood just beside her.

"Don't you ever treat me like the stupid little girl that you once thought I was, Bellamy Blake." She snapped at him causing his face to flicker in surprise. "What?" She scoffed at him, "Did you expect a thank you? Well too bad. I told you I had it under control." She eyed him and waited for him to reply but instead he simply grinned down at her.

"Took you long enough." He finally said with a raised eyebrow. And with that he walked away.

 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

_The encounter with Isaac had turned out just to be the tip of the iceberg for Clarke. Bullies seemed to be drawn to her like a bear to honey. They didn't like her clothes, her mom's expensive car, or the way she walked around with her head held high. It didn't help that she was so much smaller than everyone else either. She was an easy target and everyone seemed to take advantage of that. At first the threat of Octavia's big brother beating anyone that came anywhere near Clarke was enough to keep her safe but once the kids realized Octavia's brother was all the way on the other side of town in the Jr. High the threat no longer held as much weight. The kids simply learned not to bother her at the end of the day while she waited for her mom because it was a known fact that Octavia was always with her waiting for Bellamy to walk past the school so that he could walk her home._

_One particularly cold winter day Octavia didn't show up at school and Clarke dreaded the next seven hours of pure torture that she was sure she would have to endure. The kids were relentless anytime they happened to find her on her own._

_"Well, well, what do we have here?" A boy who was two years older than Clarke and had an extra disliking for her strode up to where she sat on the bench just outside the front of the school as she waited for her mom yet again._

_"Go away Cage." She sighed, hoping he'd see that she was bored with the idea of dealing with him. She tried not to let it slip that she was scared to be alone with him._

_"That's not a nice thing to say to someone that wants to be your friend." He grinned down at her._

_"Friends don't knock their friend's lunch trays out of their hands on purpose." Clarke mumbled to the ground._

_"It was an accident, Griffin!" He feigned shock. She looked at him and decided he would make a great politician some day._

_"Go away Cage." She said again with a little more heat._

_"What are you going to do if I don't?" He mocked her. Instead of walking away he sat down next to her and looked at the paper she had in her hands, "What's this?" He asked before he grabbed it out of her hands. Clarke tried to grab it back but he was suddenly standing up and grinning at the drawing in front of him._

_"Who's the boy?" He teased and looked over the drawing with a smirk._

_"Give it back Cage." Clarke stood up and tried to grab the paper back from him. He pulled it out of her reach and pushed her hand away from him with a hard slap._

_"Hey, I'm looking at this!" He barked. He looked her over and then with an evil grin crumpled the paper up in front of her face._

_"Stop it! What is wrong with you? Are you too scared to pick on people your own size so you have to act all tough by picking on the little girl? You're such an idiot!" She screamed and reached up to grab the ball of paper from him. She should have seen it coming, and she should have kept her mouth shut. She knew better than to wound the pride of a bully, even if no one else was around to hear her. Cage held the paper above her head and when she reached up on her toes to get it he suddenly struck out and punched her in the stomach. She went down fast and doubled over as the wind suddenly left her._

_"You're such a little wimp." Cage laughed at her. Suddenly Cage's laughter caught in his throat and Clarke looked up just in time to see Bellamy grab him by the neck and shove him onto the ground._

_"What did I tell you about touching her?" Bellamy sighed with boredom and he walked to stand between Clarke and Cage. He looked down at Clarke and smirked at her after he did a once over to make sure she was ok. Cage stood up and attempted to put on a brave face despite the fact that Bellamy was nearly twice his size when you combined the height and muscle difference._

_"This is none of your business." The younger boy spit out and Bellamy laughed at him. Cage let his pride get in the way and he took a step towards Clarke. Bellamy stood his ground and gave the boy a taunting grin. Cage assessed Bellamy and finally looked down at Clarke, "You're not worth it, twerp." He snarled and started to back away._

_"Call her by her name." Bellamy barked just as he caught Cage by the arm. Cage glared at him but the war inside of him suddenly died down and he looked over at Clarke with pure contempt._

_"You better hope your bodyguard is around forever, Clarke." He spit out her name and pulled his arm out of Bellamy's hand and stocked off._

_Clarke stood and watched the boy walk away. She turned to look at Bellamy and began to thank him when he suddenly turned on her and gently shoved her._

_"When are you going to learn to stick up for yourself?" He leered down at her. Clarke balked at him and her words were lost in her throat. He shoved her again. "Huh? When are you going to push them back?" Clarke stepped back and stared at him with wide eyes._

_"Bellamy, stop." She said near tears._

_"Or what?" He said back to her and shoved her again._

_"Or..."_

_"Or.. or..." He mocked her. Clarke could feel the tears threatening to fall at this point and she couldn't stand the thought of letting him see her cry._

_"Stop it right now Bellamy Blake!" She suddenly screamed. He stopped mid step and looked at her with mild surprise._

_"Or. What?" He slowly said again and got down right in her face._

_Clarke still to this day doesn't know what convinced her she could do it and walk away unharmed but something inside of her snapped and she brought her small fist up with speed and force she didn't know she had and she whacked the cocky, repulsive boy smack dab in the middle of his mouth. Bellamy's head snapped sideways and his eyes registered pure surprise. When he finally turned back to look at her Clarke noticed a small red line of blood starting to form in the middle of his busted lip. Bellamy reached up and dabbed at the blood with his middle finger and then brought it away so that he could look at it. Clarke anticipated retaliation of some sort but was met, instead, with a satisfied smile._

_"Took you long enough." He grinned at her and walked away._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh Bellamy...... SMH
> 
> Comments and Kudos are always welcome :)


	4. Dashed Hopes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke?" Bellamy said as he took in the small crumpled form of the woman in front of him.
> 
> "My mom took my dad off of life support today." Her words rang out in an eerie calm despite the small sobs that softly shuddered through her.
> 
> "Wha...What?" Bellamy asked, feeling as though someone had just punched him in the gut.

Clarke had waited a few moments after Bellamy walked away and attempted to collect herself. She took in a few deep breaths and then finally decided it was time to face her friends and the inevitable conversations about her and Finn's messy break up. But when she walked over and returned to her seat no one looked in her direction except for Octavia who simply gave her a questioning smile as she listened to Jasper go on and on about he and Monty's latest home brewery disaster. Clarke eased into the conversation and mentally thanked her friends for not forcing her to relive the past 48 hours.

After a couple more hours of hanging out Clarke was really ready to just head home. She loved her friends dearly and usually socializing after a long hard week was exactly what she needed but that night just wasn't her night. She sat with her elbow up on the bar and she lazily eased her chin into the palm of her hand. The rest of her group had long ago wandered off to settle some bets at the pool table but she had stayed put. The bar was slowly emptying out and Bellamy had worked to keep himself busy with cleaning the counters and restocking a few things, but eventually he ran out of things to do.

"So, do you really think he'll be able to resist talking to you at school come Monday?" He nonchalantly asked of Clarke as he came to lean against the bar just in front of her. She glanced up at him but he had his eyes averted. She followed his gaze and joined him in watching the ridiculous antics of Jasper who was standing on the pool table and singing into his cue. He had a half empty mug of beer sloshing around in the hand of his outstretched arm as he crooned to Dean Lewis' "Be Alright." Bellamy sighed with a small shake of his head and looked back over at Clarke who had returned to quietly watching him.

"I'm not a huge fan of that color on you." She suddenly said and pointed at him. His eyebrows knit together as he looked down at himself.

"What?" He asked with confusion.

"Your shirt." She said before taking a long sip of her water. He looked at her again with a blank stare and she went on. "That tan color is just too close to your skin color I think. Though it's a tad more yellow. I just don't like it." She shrugged and Bellamy leaned down onto his own elbows so that he was at the same level as her.

"Really?" He scoffed, "This is what you want to pick a fight over? Alright, I'll bite. It's just a shirt Clarke. In fact it was the one on top of the pile this morning so I threw it on."

"I'm just saying you look better in pretty much any other color. Black, grey, green, blues, some shades of red, though not really the orange ones. Yellow is probably out too. Earth tones and jewel tones suit you. Just not anything with a yellow hue." 

Bellamy stared at her like she had grown a second head but finally let out a small laugh.

"Well if it really offends you that much you could just give me my sweatshirt back." He held out his hand to her and motioned with his fingers that he wanted her to hand it over. Clarke nearly sat up straight to pull the comfy hoodie over her head, just to surprise him, but she suddenly remembered the flimsy tank top she had on underneath and the thought of walking out to her car in the cold kept her hunched over in her relaxed position.

"I thought you said I had to wash it first?" She shot back, earning herself the signature Bellamy smirk and eye roll.

"Ok....." Octavia suddenly drawled next to Clarke as she slammed down onto the stool to the right of the small blonde, "I'm exhausted and Jasper isn't letting anyone actually play now that he's decided the table is his stage." She groaned and laid her head down on her outstretched arm.

"It's about time." Clarke moaned and pulled at her purse from the back of the stool. "I was ready for bed about an hour ago." She stifled a yawn and began to stand.

"Are you sure you're good to drive?" Bellamy questioned her.

"Seriously?" She grumbled up at him, "I had one and half drinks. Thanks for that nasty beer by the way."

"You're welcome." He wasted no time in saying sarcastically.

"But yes, _mom_ , I'm good to drive." She glared at him and began to pull on Octavia's arm.

"Just to make sure maybe you should try walking in a straight line and say the alphabet backwards." Bellamy glared right back at her.

"Or I could give you a descriptive recount of the time I walked in on Octavia and Lincoln making ou...."

"Don't you dare finish that sentence, Griffin." Bellamy growled with real anger this time.

"Wait, how did I get dragged into this?" Octavia innocently raised her head and looked between her best friend and brother. Clarke simply smiled at her and pulled on her once more.

"Come on O. Lets go before Bellamy decides he'd like to risk hearing all about how you were sitting on Lincoln's lap and..."

"Clarke, I swear I will kill you if you keep talking." Bellamy boomed darkly, but Clarke just laughed and waved over her head as she and Octavia stumbled out of the bar.

 

The next morning when Clarke woke up she was shocked to see the time on her phone read 11:34. She couldn't remember the last time she had slept in that late. She lazily stretched and relished in the soft warm light that spilled across her bed, it was so different from the cool dark glow of the sun rising when she normally woke up for either classes or the odd shift she got at the coffee shop through out the week. She rolled over onto her stomach and scrolled through Instagram for a couple of minutes when a text suddenly pinged across her screen.

Mom: Running late.  I'll be there in about ten minutes. Sorry, long morning of meetings."

Clarke suddenly jumped out of bed and rushed around her room to find a decent clean pair of jeans and her favorite sweater. She brushed her hair frantically and checked her face in the mirror. Her makeup from the night before was smudged under her eyes and her lips looked dry and slightly chapped.

"Lovely." She whispered to herself as she ran to the bathroom to wash her face and reapply some mascara and chapstick. Just as she was finishing up she heard the distant tat- tat- tat of her mother knocking on the front door. She pulled the bathroom door open and headed for the front door but was beaten by her roommate.

"Hello, Octavia." Abby Griffin said warmly to Clarke's friend.

"Hey Mrs. G." Octavia responded and gave the older woman a quick tight hug. "I was just heading out! We will have to catch up soon though!" Octavia bound down the few steps that led to their apartment, a yoga mat bounced on her back as she ran and she waved at the two women she had left inside the building.

"Hey, mom." Clarke smiled and took in the small deep lines that creased at her mother's eyes as she smiled back. "I just have to get my purse and then I'll be ready for lunch." She added and began to turn towards her room, hoping that her purse was indeed in the now messy room.

"Clarke." Abby awkwardly started, causing Clarke to stop mid turn. She looked her mother over and noticed how the woman looked down and played with her hands, something she only did when she was nervous.

"Mom?" Clarke asked turning back towards her mom.

"Honey, maybe you should sit down. There's something. I need to discuss something with you before we go to lunch."

Uh oh, Clarke thought. Her mother only ever did something like this when she wanted to discuss Clarke's choice to drop her plans of pre med and pursue an art career instead. Or when her mother thought she was spending too much time with her boyfriend and not enough time on her studies. Clarke sighed, she would have to tell her mom about Finn at some point. 

Clarke did as her mom suggested and she moved to sit on the couch. She patted the seat next to her and she watched as her mother slowly sank down beside her.

"Clarke." Her mother started again, still fidgeting with her hands and refusing to look Clarke in the eye. "Clarke, I've decided to pull your father off of life support."

Clarke took in a sharp breathe and then suddenly had to remind herself to let it back out again.

"Wha..what? Mom. No." She said while shaking her head in disbelief.

"Honey, it's been a little over three years. He's not getting any better. Marcus, Dr. Kane doesn't see any brain activity. He's only alive because the machines are keeping him that way. He's not really there, do you understand what I mean?" Abby looked up at her daughter with sad eyes.

"He could still recover mom. You heard what Dr. Sydney said."

"Clarke, that was just after the accident. It's been over three years. There's been no evidence of improvement."

"I can't believe you're talking about this!" Clarke suddenly stood and began to pace. Her father had been in a coma for well over three years, that was true. But, Clarke had still held onto the hope that one day he would wake up and slowly start the journey to a full recovery.

"I'm sorry, honey. But it's time." Clarke heard the sadness in her mother's voice and she knew that despite everything that had happened between her parents her mother still loved her father very much and this was hurting her just as much as it pained Clarke. Clarke took a few deep breaths and tried to calm herself. She tried to see reason. She tried to understand what her mother was telling her.

"Dr. Kane really believes there's no chance of him coming back?" She quietly asked from where she stood.

Her mother simply shook her head as the tears began to freely flow down her cheeks. Clarke nodded her head with the determination to be level headed about what this meant.

"Ok." She licked her lips and looked around the room. "When. When do you intend to have this done?" She asked, mentally going over her schedule for the next couple of weeks.

"Today." Abby nearly whispered, "If you'll agree to coming with me." She added and looked up at her daughter with shiny tear filled eyes.

Clarke gasped once more, "Today? Don't you have to go through a bunch of paperwork and stuff before they can do that?" 

"I've already gone through the necessary steps, Clarke." Her mother reassured her.

"You mean besides talking to me about it." 

"I'm doing that now." Her mother sighed and dropped her head into her hands just as the sobs began to wrack her body. Guilt and grief grabbed at Clarke's heart and she bent down to rub her mom's back.

"Ok." She finally said. Her mother looked back up at her with questioning eyes and Clarke sadly nodded at her.

"Ok." Abby said back.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

_Clarke sat on the front steps of her and her mother's house and bounced her legs up and down as she waited for her dad to pick her up for their weekly dinner date. It had been nearly a whole month though since she had seen him and she had so much to tell him. Her father always loved hearing her stories about what she and her friends were up to or what Bellamy Blake had done to get himself even further on to her bad side._

 

_"You know he's just looking out for you, right?" Jake Griffin had teased her the last time she told him about how Bellamy had threatened a boy that had considered asking Clarke to her senior prom._

_"He's horrible dad." She'd groaned. "He just wants to make my life miserable. I wish he had gone far away for college instead of sticking around for Octavia." She stabbed at her orange chicken with her chopsticks and purposefully left out the small detail that the boy had actually been telling people he thought Clarke would be fairly 'easy' once he got her to go to the after prom party with him. Somehow Bellamy had heard about that and he'd threatened to break every single bone in the guy's body if he so much as looked in Clarke's general direction._

_"Well I for one am thankful he is around since I am not." His smile suddenly faltered when he had said that and Clarke felt the hollowing pain that seemed to spread in her chest whenever the fact that her parents were no longer together became glaringly obvious._

_Clarke shook her head at the memory and looked down at her phone. Her dad was running fifteen minutes late which was not like him at all. She began to bounce her legs again when the door behind her suddenly flew open and Abby began to race down the steps, narrowly avoiding Clarke._

_"Mom? What are you..."_

_"Your dad." She nearly yelled as she ran towards the car. "Clarke, lets go!" She really did yell this time._

_"Dad is picking me up, mom." Clarke shouted back but stood and walked towards the car._

_"He was in an accident." Her mother rushed to say as she unlocked the car and threw the door open._

_"What?" Clarke froze in the middle of the walkway and looked up and down the street as though expecting her dad's car to suddenly appear._

_"Clarke, get in the car. He's being taken to the hospital in the life flight helicopter!"_

_Warning bells went off in Clarke's head and she dashed to reach the car just as her mother set the engine rumbling._

_Life flight was never a good sign. You had to be in a dire situation for them to call in the helicopter. If only Clarke had known what she was in for._

_~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~_

"He's gone now, honey." Abby whispered against Clarke's hair nearly twelve hours after they had left Clarke's apartment. The day had gone from easy and wonderful to the longest most painful day that Clarke could ever recall. Throughout the long drawn out day Jake Griffin had beaten the odds and breathed on his own despite what the Dr.s said about his current state. Hope had begun to bubble in Clarke's chest but it was quickly snuffed out when things slowly deteriorated after that. Her hands had painful red half moons etched into her palms where she had been digging her nails into them for the last four or so hours as she listened to the whistling breaths go in and out of her father's frail chest. She wanted to yell at the Dr's to do something or at the very least hurry it up and end his suffering, but she had kept quiet and stared at the body that barely resembled her father, once so strong and full of life.

Clarke waited for the tears to streak down her face and blur her vision but they never came. She and her mother sat beside her father for a while longer as Dr. Kane came in and grimly pronounced him dead. 

"Mom, I have to go." Clarke suddenly pulled her hand out of her mother's and began to stand.

"Clarke, why don't you come stay with me tonight. It may be best for both of us if..."

"I can't mom." Clarke shook her head and pulled on the baggy hoodie she had grabbed on the way out of her apartment in lieu of a coat earlier in the day. "I just. I need space." She finally whispered and with that she walked out of the room and out of the hospital in a daze.

 

She wasn't really sure where she was going. The dark night loomed all around her as Saturday suddenly bled into Sunday. She drove around, turning down one random street and crossing over countless others. Her mind was numb. She had always thought that if the day ever came for her to say goodbye to her father she would have felt some sort of peace or relief in letting him go. But the way the day had played out was nothing like she had envisioned when she would let her mind wander down that path. 

Clarke began to slow down and absently signaled that she was turning left. It wasn't until she got half way down the road that she realized she was on Bellamy's street. She looked down at herself and wondered if maybe she had subconsciously been thinking about him because of the sweatshirt she was wearing. She pulled up in front of the small brick house and she sighed as she set the car in park. Without much thought, she was doing that a lot lately, she jumped out of her jeep and strode quickly up to the door. She paused for a moment and then knocked once, twice, a third time before the tears began to fall.

 

Bellamy sat in his bed and barely looked up from the book he was reading when he heard the first knock. When the second knock sounded he sighed and placed the book down on his bed as he scooted to the edge of the mattress. On the third knock he was gritting his teeth and taking in the fact that it was twelve forty five, not exactly a social hour. He stomped his way to his front door and threw it open to reveal Clarke. Before he could say anything or even look her over she was suddenly pushing past him and making a beeline for his couch.

"Clarke." He said with a warning. "This better not become a regular thing!" He bellowed and slammed his door with annoyance. But, when he turned to yell at her some more he was stopped by the sight of her. She sat on the edge of his couch much like the other night but her shoulders slumped forward as though a large weight was pulling her down.

"Clarke?" He said as he took in the small crumpled form of the woman in front of him.

"My mom took my dad off of life support today." Her words rang out in an eerie calm despite the small sobs that softly shuddered through her.

"Wha...What?" Bellamy asked, feeling as though someone had just punched him in the gut.

"It took forever." She leaned her forehead into her hand and breathed, "But he finally...he... and I. I couldn't stay any longer." She began to cry harder and Bellamy quickly moved to sit on the edge of the coffee table in front of her. He picked up her limp cold hand that rested beside her leg and he held it between the two of his.  

"What?" She suddenly asked, looking up at him, "No sarcastic comment or advice to suck it up and move on?" She asked with a small chuckle, though it came out with more of a bite than she had intended. She watched as sadness and vulnerability suddenly replaced the strong and defiant look that Bellamy usually wore. Clarke had only seen him look like that once in the entire time that she had known him. It had been nearly eight years ago at the funeral of Aurora Blake, Bellamy and Octavia's mom.

"The death of a parent isn't something you can just _get over_." Bellamy replied sadly. She didn't know why but she had wanted him to tell her to grow up and toughen up. She wanted him to tell her that she needed to be strong and learn to deal with it, just like he had told her so many times growing up. But, seeing Bellamy's sad eyes and feeling the way that he rubbed his thumb over her hand in a comforting gesture  made Clarke finally lose it. All the pain and grief she had felt rolling around inside of her during the day finally broke down the dam she had been carefully constructing so as to not completely crumble when her mother needed her most. The sobs started out small but they quickly picked up and suddenly Clarke found it hard to breathe as the tears came in shockingly strong waves. 

Bellamy pulled on her hand and brought her closer to him as he wrapped his arms protectively around her back. Her forehead awkwardly landed against his chest and Clarke brought her hands up to rest on his shoulders. She felt the warm smooth skin under her hands and she suddenly lifted her head to look him over. He was sitting in front of her bare chested, wearing only a pair of black joggers and the round reading glasses she and Octavia had teased him relentlessly about all those  years ago when he had first come home with them.

"Did I wake..you. up. again?" Clarke half sobbed half laughed in a semi crazed state.

He shook his head, "Don't worry about it Prin...Clarke." He corrected himself and moved to sit next to her on the couch. He placed an arm around her shoulders and pulled her to himself before leaning them both against the back of the comfortable seat.

"Stop being nice to me." She cried against his chest as he smoothed her hair.

"Whatever you say, princess." He replied with a sad sigh.

Bellamy sat with Clarke and absently smoothed his hand over her soft curls. He ran his hand down over her head again and again and occasionally reminded her with a whisper to breath. Pain sliced its way across his chest as the old wound that he thought had long ago healed ripped open in his heart. He pulled Clarke closer to himself and wanted desperately to tell her it would be ok, but at that moment he wasn't fully convinced it would be."

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

_If one more person told him they were "sorry for his loss" Bellamy knew he would absolutely lose it and say something stupid or hurtful in return._

_"I need a break." He whispered to Octavia before he turned and stomped out of the reception hall of the small funeral home. He pushed at the door that stood between him and the warm fresh air and he stepped out into the beautiful sunny day._

_"Stupid sun!" He snarled as he pulled at the tie that he wore. How could the sun shine down on him like nothing was wrong? Couldn't it see that his mother was dead? Couldn't it tell that he was being strangled by more than the stupid tie and tight suit jacket that he wore?_   _Bellamy leaned forward and caught his hands on his knees as he tried to breathe. He was eighteen for heaven's sake! He was barely an adult and he had so much to figure out. He had heard the whispers of the people that wanted to know what would happen to Octavia since she was only thirteen. No one seemed to consider  that he was more than capable of taking care of her. He had basically been doing just that for the last five_ _years as his mother battled the cancer that eventually won out. But, how would he manage completely on his own? He had a job working at a small garage for an old family friend, Jacapo Sinclair, but it was barely enough to get them by on. And what about college? Would he be able to juggle a teenager, a job, and classes?_

_Bellamy ran a hand through his hair as the weight of it all continued to push him down. He heard a small scuffling noise and then someone cleared their throat. He rolled his eyes at the ground and then pushed himself up. He hadn't anticipated coming face to face with the large round blue eyes of Clarke Griffin, but there she was, standing right in front of him with her head held high in the annoying way that only she could manage._

_"Hi." She softly said before she looked down and shuffled her weight between her feet._

_"Hi." He bit out. He shook his head at himself and mentally ran over the words of an apology for being such a jerk but suddenly Clarke was staring right at him and the words never found their way out of his throat._

_"I'm so sorry for..."_

_"Don't, Clarke." He said in defeat and lifted his hand to stop her._

_"Bellamy, I just wanted to say I was so.."_

_"I said stop, Clarke." He hissed at her. Her eyes registered anger but it was suddenly replaced by  a defeated sadness and Bellamy rushed on, "If one more person tells me they are sorry or that they can't imagine what I must be going through then I will put my fist through a wall." He huffed out in explanation. Clarke simply nodded at him and looked over at the short brick wall that separated the parking lot from the backdoor of the building. She walked over to the wall and pulled herself up to sit on the ledge. Bellamy chuckled to himself at the way she had to slightly hop up to get to the edge. He strode over and gingerly sat down next to her without even having to stretch up on his toes first. He placed his hands on either side of himself and scooted back a bit until he was comfortably sitting._

_"So what are you going to do?" Clarke asked before she bit her lip and blushed. "I'm sorry Bellamy. That was dumb of me to ask." She shook her head and looked at the ground. He sighed and looked up at the perfectly blue sky._

_"I don't know." He simply replied to the question._

_"My mom wanted me to let you know that we're here for you if you need anything. Octavia can hang out at our house when you're working or we can help out with groceries and anything else.."_

_"We'll be fine, Clarke." He barely got out through gritted teeth._

_"I'm serious, Bel." She tried out the nickname that only Octavia had ever gotten away with, "we're here for you."_

_"How have you not figured this out yet, Princess?" He growled at her, "Haven't I told you a thousand times by now that the only person you can consistently rely on to be around when times get rough is yourself?" He began shouting and he could see the fear in Clarke's eyes but it felt good to yell and let it out. "I don't need you or your rich mother! I can take care of myself and I can take care of Octavia! We will be **Fine!** It's time for you to grow up, Clarke, and realize that in the real world you have to look out for yourself. You can't keep looking for others to do it for you." He jumped down from the wall and stalked off in the direction of his house. He didn't want to shake anymore hands or reassure strangers that he was doing ok or listen to anyone else say 'well at least she's no longer suffering." He was done._

_"We'll bring Octavia home when the visitation is over." Clarke called from behind him, setting his teeth on edge as her tone implied that she was indeed going to help him whether he liked it or not. Sometimes he wished he hadn't taught her to stand up for herself._

_~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~_

Bellamy suddenly twitched and opened his eyes as the realization that he had fallen asleep dawned on him. He looked around his dimly lit living room and then down at Clarke's head that still rested on his chest. His arms felt like they were made of lead as they continued to circle around her. He slowly stretched his legs and lower back but suddenly stopped when Clarke's body shook with a ragged breath that strongly resembled a sob.

"You've had one hell of a week, haven't you?" He whispered against her head. When she didn't respond with even a small sound or stirring he leaned back and looked down at her face. Her eyes remained closed, her eyelashes gently brushed against the tops of her cheeks. She had faint black lines running down her visible cheek from what he assumed was makeup and her hair was falling limply across her nose. He lightly brushed the hair back with his finger tips and when she still didn't stir he decided she must be out cold. He pulled his free arm away from her waist and worked to ease her down against the couch and off of his other arm. She mumbled a bit and readjusted until she had her back to him but she didn't wake up. He stood and stretched his sore body. He wasn't sure how long they had sat on the couch for but his muscles protested as he moved and returned to a more normal position. He looked back down at Clarke and sighed. He turned towards the chair to his left and pulled the large fuzzy blanket that Octavia had bought him as a housewarming gift off the arm it had been resting on and draped it over Clarke. He made sure she was fully covered before he headed out of the living room and into his own room. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oof, some heavy stuff guys. 
> 
> Did you all see that the 100 comes back April 30th!!!! Can't wait!
> 
> Thanks for all the Kudos and love!


	5. Cars and Pancakes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Clarke." He said with exasperation, "Just take the damn car."
> 
> "I don't need your help Bellamy Blake." She suddenly yelled at him, startling even herself. "I..I can take care of myself." She added more quietly. "Aren't you the one that always told me I needed to do that more?" She stared at her shoes and only realized he had come to stand in front of her when she saw his bare feet stop just inches in front of her old worn out tennis shoes.
> 
> "Someone once told me it was ok to let others take care of you. And to be honest? She was right." He quietly said to her. He gently grabbed the hand that still held onto his car key and he wrapped her fingers around the small object.

The next morning something warm and heavy landed on Clarke's chest forcing her to stir. She tried to settle back into sleep but the smell and sound of bacon cooking gently pulled at her mind and she slowly eased her eyes open to discover two slightly glowing green ones staring right back at her. Clarke blinked and then opened her eyes fully to take in the small furry grey head of a cat that sat on her chest and looked her over with mild curiosity. 

"Hello." She said sleepily and moved to sit up against the arm of the couch she now realized she was lying on. The cat continued to sit on her and she reached up to scratch behind it's ear. It began to purr and Clarke sat up straighter so that she could pet the soft fur of the cat that now sat on her lap with contentment. Clarke looked around the sunlit living room in Bellamy's house and then glanced behind herself to see into the kitchen that took up the opposite  corner of the small home. She could vaguely see the back of Bellamy as he worked at the stove, the kitchen island obscured her from seeing most of him though.

"Do you have a cat?" She called over to him. She continued to crane her neck and watched as Bellamy suddenly stopped whatever he was doing and slowly did a half turn in her direction. After he nodded a greeting at her he turned back around to his task at the stove.

"Uh, no?" He said with confusion but suddenly went on, "Oh wait. Ya, I keep forgetting. He's actually not mine though. He just showed up one day and likes to hide out." He chuckled and moved around in the small square kitchen. "But don't try to touch him," He warned, "he hates peop..." He suddenly stopped talking as he came up behind Clarke and saw the two of them cuddled up on the couch, Clarke was still petting the purring feline. "Huh." He said in amazement. "He only lets me touch him, and even then its for about five seconds before he's trying to claw my eyes out." He looked at the cat for a second more and then shrugged before he turned around to head back towards the kitchen. "I made breakfast if you're hungry." He called over his shoulder.

After Clarke scratched the cat's head one last time she slowly stretched and eased off the couch to come to a stand. She stretched again and headed for the kitchen where Bellamy worked to plate up bacon and what appeared to be pancakes.

"So you have a cat that you always forget about? Do you at least remember to feed him?" Clarke asked as she sat down in one of the swivel stools that sat up against the island.

"I'm not a completely horrible person, Clarke." Bellamy sighed but flashed her a rare smile. "He has all the food he could ever want, when he bothers to show up. Most days he’s out only heaven knows where and then when I think he's finally left for good he’ll dart in the door as I'm coming home or heading out." He shrugged and placed a plate filled with food in front of her. 

"You cook." Clarke said more as a statement than a question.

"How do you think Octavia stayed alive all those years?" He asked and turned away from her to go back to the stove.

"I guess." Clarke said quietly and picked up the fork Bellamy had put down in front of her. She cut into the pancakes and brought up a small bite to her mouth. Her eyes widened in surprise as she chewed, "These are really good!"

"Don't sound so shocked." Bellamy chuckled and took a sip of his coffee. He turned back around to her, "I have coffee if you want some." He pointed to the ancient coffee maker that sat in the corner of the counter to the left of the stove.

"Do you have any creamer?" Clarke asked, eyeing the dark contents of the glass carafe. 

"No, Princess. But I have milk and sugar." He gave her an annoyed look. Clarke wrinkled her nose and shook her head.

"No thanks." She said before taking another bite of the pancakes.

Bellamy laughed and got himself a plate of food and walked over to sit next to her. He made a show of taking a loud long sip of his black undoctored coffee and Clarke rolled her eyes. She looked at him from the corner of her eye and noticed he was now wearing the shirt she had told him she did not like just the other night. That along with the way he had scoffed at her coffee preferences made Clarke thankful that he wasn't going too much out of his way to be nice to her. That would have been too much for her and it would have started the water works all over again. The reality of why she was at Bellamy's in the first place hit her with a sudden weight and Clarke set her fork down with a thud as she slumped forward a bit. Bellamy reached over and gave her a quick squeeze on her arm just above her wrist in a reassuring gesture but he kept his eyes on the book that he now held in his other hand. Suddenly Bellamy's phone began to buzz against the counter over by the stove and he stood to retrieve it.

"Hey, O." He said after looking at the screen. Clarke could just barely hear the sound of Octavia's voice on the other end but she thought she could also hear another voice somewhere in the background shouting. "What?" Bellamy asked tilting his head as he tried to understand his sister. "O, O!" He shouted into the phone, "Hold on. She's here. Yes at _my_ house. Yes." He nodded with an annoyed expression. "She's fine. She showed up last night." He furrowed his brow and glanced up at Clarke before he turned his back on her. "Her dad just  _died_ , O." He whispered with a hiss. He sighed and ran his hand through his hair causing it to stick up comically around his forehead. "Fine. I'll tell her. I said I'd tell her O." He ended the call and sighed before he turned around to face Clarke again.

"Your mom showed up at your apartment completely hysterical because she couldn't find you." He relayed the message. 

"Why did Octavia call you and not me? And why didn't my mom just call me?" She asked as she began patting the pockets of her jeans in search of her phone. She finally found it in her left back pocket and pulled it out, "Oh." She grimaced, "It's dead." Bellamy crossed his arms and leaned against the counter with a nod.

"O also said she, your mom, wants you to meet her back there as soon as possible." He told her.

"Ok." She said, eyeing the food he had worked hard to make.

"Don't worry about it, Clarke." He said after reading her expression.

She stood up and began to head towards the living room but Bellamy suddenly stopped her by clearing his throat,

"And just to warn you...O is pissed that you came here again." He sighed and shook his head. 

"I kind of got that from your conversation." Clarke gave him a weak smile and went to gather her purse and keys.

After a quick goodbye and thank you, Clarke headed out and down the sidewalk to where her jeep sat parked against the curb. She opened the driver's door and threw her purse in before she slid in herself. She took three deep breaths and then put the key into the ignition and turned it. The engine sputtered and then suddenly went quiet. Clarke furrowed her brow and tried the key again. Once more the engine sputtered and then died. She stared at the steering wheel for a second and then started punching it with her left hand.

"Are you freaking kidding me right now!" She screamed at the inanimate object in front of her. "You _would_ do this to me right now wouldn't you!?" She ripped the key out of the ignition and pushed her door open while she grabbed her purse and jumped out.  She turned and slammed the door shut again. She ran back to Bellamy's house and shoved the door open. Bellamy stopped on his way to the sink with both hands holding onto the plates that had been sitting on the island and he gave Clarke a confused look when she stormed into the room.

"My fricken jeep won't start!" She groaned not really knowing what she expected him to do about it. Bellamy seemed to think for a minute and then put the plates down on the counter space closest to him.

"Give me your keys," He said. "I'll take a look at it."

"I can't ask you to do that, Bellamy." Clarke huffed, "Can I just use your phone so I can call a tow truck?" Bellamy gave her an annoyed look and shook his head.

"Don't be stupid, Clarke. Just let me work on it."

"You've done enough Bellamy." Clarke all but yelled at him, "Besides I'm sure you have more than enough things you need to do today. I'm not going to have you working on my car."

"It's almost finals, I don't have any papers to grade since we're just going over test material." He calmly replied referring to his teaching job at the  high school. "And there's nothing else that I really _need_ to do. Give me your keys." He held out his hand but he was too far away so Clarke just slammed them down on the island that stood between them.

"Fine. Can I at least use your phone to get an Uber?" She grumbled. 

"Hold on." He replied and then walked away until he disappeared into his bedroom. He quickly walked back out and threw something at Clarke which she quickly caught before she even fully registered that he had thrown something. She looked down in her hands and saw a key on a single metal ring.

"Just take my car." He said from where he stood leaning up against the wall with his arms across his chest.

"I will get an Uber, Bellamy. Thank you." She moved to slam his key down next to hers.

"Clarke." He said with exasperation, "Just take the damn car."

"I don't need your help Bellamy Blake." She suddenly yelled at him, startling even herself. "I..I can take care of myself." She added more quietly. "Aren't you the one that always told me I needed to do that more?" She stared at her shoes and only realized he had come to stand in front of her when she saw his bare feet stop just inches in front of her old worn out tennis shoes.

"Someone once told me it was ok to let others take care of you. And to be honest? She was right." He quietly said to her. He gently grabbed the hand that still held onto his car key and he wrapped her fingers around the small object.

"Just take the car, Clarke." He moved away from her and headed back towards the dishes he had abandoned. "I'll see what I can do for yours and I'll let you know when it's ready." 

 All the heat and anger that had been slamming against Clarke's chest suddenly seemed to flow out of her and she simply nodded with defeat.

"Ok," She whispered. "Thanks Bellamy." And she headed back for the door.

 

When Clarke closed the door to Bellamy's old Datsun she looked over to discover a gear lever sticking up from between the driver's and passenger's seats. She sighed and slammed her feet down on the clutch and the break before turning over the engine with the key.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

" _Octavia says you want me to teach you how to drive?" Bellamy flicked the top of Clarke's head when he walked into the living room where the girls were working on homework together. Clarke rubbed at the spot and glared at her friend who feigned innocence all while refusing to look up._

_"I need **someone** to teach me to drive." Clarke corrected._

_"Aren't you already sixteen?" Bellamy asked as he sat down in the oversized chair to her right._

_"Yes." She drew out the last letter. "But my mom has been too busy  working at the hospital and my birthday was three days ago, thanks for remembering by the way, and it was after the cut off for drivers ed this year."_

_"I'll teach you if you want." Bellamy said with a shrug._

_Clarke looked at him with distrust._

_"What's the catch?" She crossed her arms over her chest and raised her chin in defiance._

_"Either take it or leave it, Griffin." Bellamy sighed, "It doesn't matter to me."_

_"Ok fine." Clarke replied a tad more hastily than she had meant._

_"I'm free now." Bellamy stood and headed for the side door between the kitchen and dining room that led to the garage._

_"Wait. Now?" Clarke stuttered and looked over at Octavia who still refused to look up from the math problem she was working on._

_"Yup. I have class tonight and need to finish up a paper soon. So it's either now or sometime next week." He looked her over and waited for her to follow him. She jumped up from her seat on the old worn couch and walked after him._

 

_Clarke finished buckling her seatbelt and turned to place her hands on the steering wheel,_

_"Ok, I need the key." She breathed with nervous energy._

_"First you have to learn what everything is." Bellamy said beside her, "Then you can turn the car on." Clarke rolled her eyes but looked over at him and waited for him to continue. "We'll start with the pedals. The one on the right is the gas. Then there's the brake," He leaned over and pointed down by her feet. Clarke sat back against the seat and looked down to where he was pointing. "And the smaller pedal on the far left is the clutch."_

_"Wait, the what?" Clarke exclaimed before she looked over and saw the gear shift in the middle console._

_"The clutch. You have to put your foot on that and the break before you start the car otherwise you'll stall it." He sat up and started to point to the gear shift but Clarke stopped him_

_"Bellamy, I don't want to learn how to drive a stick shift." She groaned. "My mom's car is an automatic and I'm pretty sure that any car I get will also be automatic."_

_"Which is wrong." He plainly stated before going over the different gears. "R stands for reverse. 1, 2,3,4, and 5 are the different gears that you have to switch into depending on what speed you're going. You always start out in first gear unless you want to go in reverse. If you try to start it any higher you'll most likely stall the car."_

_"I am not going to drive a stick shift car." Clarke said again and worked to unbuckle the belt around her hips._

_"Then I guess it's going to be a long time until you get your license." He calmly said and pulled at the handle on his door._

_"Ok, fine!" Clarke growled in frustration. She grabbed Bellamy's arm and waited for him to close his door. He did so with an obnoxious grin and nod of his head._

_"Trust me Clarke, if you learn on a stick then you can drive any vehicle. It takes some getting used to but once you've got it down it becomes second nature. Ok, so tell me which gear you have to start out in."_

_"First." She said and rolled her eyes._

 

_As it turned out there had been a bit of a catch, though Clarke hadn't found that out until a few years later.  Bellamy had agreed to teach Clarke how to drive as a way of practicing to see if he was really cut out to be a teacher or not. He figured if he could teach the person that annoyed him the most how to drive a manual car than he could teach anyone anything. As it turned out Bellamy was a great teacher and Clarke was a quick learner. She got her license less than two months later after she convinced her mom that she really could drive safely and had practiced in the much easier automatic jeep that her mom bought her. Even though she loved the convenience of a car that shifted for her, Clarke couldn't help but secretly wish she had gotten the older model that came with a manual transmission._

_~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~_

Clarke pulled Bellamy's car over against the curb just behind her mother's new Lexus and returned the gear shift to the neutral position before she shut the car off. She quickly remembered to pull up on the parking brake to assure Bellamy's prize possession wouldn't miraculously roll away on the perfectly flat street. She gently closed the door after she got out and jogged the short distance to the front door of her home. She rummaged around in her purse for a moment before she remembered she had left her keys with Bellamy. She tested the knob but found the door locked just like always. She sighed and knocked. After a minute the door opened and Octavia looked out with curiosity. Her open expression suddenly changed to one of confusion when her eyes landed on Clarke's face but it suddenly turned to an odd glare when she noticed the car behind her friend.

"You drove the datsun!?" She wheezed before looking back over at Clarke.

"My jeep wouldn't start." She shrugged and tried to walk past Octavia.

"He won't even let  _me_ drive the stupid old thing." Octavia seethed. The Datsun 240z was the only thing Bellamy had left of his dad. The two of them had talked about restoring it together when Bellamy got a little older, but the older Blake had passed away before they ever got a chance. Bellamy had worked many sleepless nights and used every last spare penny he could find to get the car into the shape he knew his father would have been proud of. Octavia spun around and stared at Clarke with accusation on her face. "What is going on with you and my brother?" She whispered between gritted teeth.

"What?" Clarke asked as she looked around the apartment for her mom.

"Since when are you and Bellamy all buddy buddy? You've slept at his house twice in one week! And now he's letting you drive his car?!"

"Octavia, it's been a long hard weekend. Can we talk about this later?"

"So there is something to talk about?" She asked dumbfounded.

"What? No. I just mean, I need to talk to my mom. Where is she?"

"She's in the bathroom." Octavia finally relented. "You really scared her." she added quietly.

"I know." Clarke shook her head and headed for the couch to wait for her mom. 

 

The next week dragged on with meetings at the funeral home to set up a service in her father's honor, along with appointments with a florist, and countless hours of pouring over old photo albums that Clarke hadn't seen in years. 

"Oh! Do you remember this one?" Her mother laughed from the other side of the coffee table. They were both sitting on the floor in Abby Griffin's living room which had become their funeral planning headquarters for the last few days. Clarke had packed a small bag of clothes and things so that she could stay by her mom's side as they worked through the hard and intricate details of honoring her father's memory. Her newly fixed jeep sat just outside in the driveway, reminding Clarke that at some point she needed to thank Bellamy for everything he had done the Sunday before.

Clarke looked over at the photo her mom held up and laughed.

"He thought he was so funny holding me upside down over the end of the dock!" She wiped away the tears at the memory. The photo showed her father sporting a huge grin as Clarke dangled from his hand and stretched out to touch the water beneath her.

"You were only three and I thought you'd be so scared of the water, but you loved it!" Her mother recalled before her smile turned into a sad frown. "I never should have left him." She whispered and placed the picture in the pile of photos they wanted to use at the visitation. 

"He knew you still loved him, mom." Clarke reassured her. Abby nodded but her smile didn't return.

 

Friday, the day of the visitation, finally snuck up on them and Clarke found herself constantly smoothing her dress down over her legs in between shaking hands with the people that filed in front of her to pay their respects. 

"I'm very sorry for your loss." A man Clarke vaguely recognized said to her. She nodded and gave him a small smile in response. He turned and walked over to the easels that held the large boards Clarke and her mother had worked together to make with all the photos they had found of her father. Clarke caught a glimpse of them and felt the pain in her chest threaten to stop her breathing.

"I'm going to take a short break, mom." Clarke whispered. Her mother gave her a nod and turned to accept the hand of the next person in line.

Clarke stepped outside into the cold early December air and hugged her arms tightly against her chest. She walked around the small brick wall that stood just in front of the door she had come out of and she leaned her back against it. She looked up at the bright blue sky and sighed. The door behind her suddenly opened and Clarke was surrounded by a swirling warmth as the air from inside rushed out before the door was closed again. She shivered for a moment as the cold returned but suddenly something warm was draped over her shoulders. Clarke looked over to see Bellamy walking around the edge of the wall as he came to stand next to her. She looked at her shoulder and discovered he had placed her coat over it.

"Thanks." She said nodding to the garment.

"You're mom asked me to see if you had remembered to grab it." He grinned down at her. Clarke nodded with understanding.

Bellamy sat on the edge of the wall and situated himself until he was comfortable.

"I get it now." Clarke suddenly said into the comfortable silence that had settled around them.

"What?" He asked.

"You yelling at the sun at your mom's visitation." She sighed. Bellamy simply nodded and looked up at the sky in memory.

"Does it ever get better?" She quietly asked. After a moment she began to wonder if he had heard her but when she turned to look at him he shrugged.

"I won't lie to you," He started, "It eases over time. But then something will happen or something will remind you of your dad and suddenly it will hurt just as much as the day you lost him. But the every second pain? That dulls eventually." Clarke nodded beside him.

"I guess I should probably go back in there. I don't want to leave my mom alone for too long." She pushed away from the wall and smoothed her dress down again.

"I'm supposed to tell you that Jasper and Monty are having a get together tonight." He said as he stepped off the wall. "Nothing big or crazy. I think I heard Jasper say something about watching Disney movies?" He said with a grimace.

"I heard something about that too." Clarke chuckled. "He, Monty, and Harper came through a bit ago."

"Oh good." Bellamy said with a nod. "O just wanted to make sure you knew in case you'd want to join us." He shoved his hands into the pockets of  his dress pants and looked at her.

"Us?" Clarke asked, "I thought we lowly college kids were too immature and naive for you these days?"

"I figured I should try slumming it again. At least for tonight." He grinned.

"She's pretty mad at me." Clarke sighed referring to Octavia who had not bothered showing up to the visitation.

"I think this all brings back her unresolved feelings towards our mom dying." He replied quietly. "She never did deal with that." He glanced back up at the sky and teetered on his toes for moment.

"She's mad because she thinks there's something going on between you and I. She thinks I'm lying to her."

"Grief will do that to you." He nodded, "It makes everything else seem like a big deal or a problem you can't face. But I'm sure if she really stopped and thought about it she'd realize she's not really mad at you. But if it makes you feel any better she's barely talking to me either." He grinned down at her and the curls along his forehead slipped down slightly over his eyes forcing him to peer between them. Clarke offered him a small smile.

"I'll think about the party." Clarke offered him as she started to walk around the wall and towards the door. "Oh, and Bellamy?"

"Hm?"

"Thank you for letting me crash on your couch and cry on Sunday. And for breakfast. And for fixing my jeep. And for, well for taking care of me."

"Anytime, Princess." He said with a dismissive wave and smile. She smiled back and pushed the door open.

 

 

"I think you should go." Abby said from the passenger seat of Clarke's jeep. Clarke had just filled her in on what Bellamy had told her about everyone hanging out at Jasper and Monty's apartment.

"No, it's ok mom. We can just get dinner and stay in. The funeral is tomorrow and we still need to make sure that..."

"Clarke." Abby gently stopped her. "You need to get out for a bit. Go see your friends. I know that you're close enough with them that if all you end up doing is laying on the couch crying they'd be there for you."

Clarke snickered at the vision of her laying on Jasper's lumpy old futon while the majority of her friends either sat on top of her or under her as a way to show her their support. They were an odd bunch but they knew exactly how to make someone feel important and loved, even if it was slightly uncomfortable and illogical.

"Are you sure, mom?" Clarke asked not wanting to dismiss the fact that Abby may need her still.

"Yes. In fact, just drop me off at home and head straight there."

"I'll need to at least change, mom." Clarke chuckled as she pulled into the driveway.

"Ok, but hurry. I don't want you changing your mind." Her mother urged.

Clarke had done as her mother asked and quickly changed out of the stuffy black dress she had been wearing. She pulled on a comfortable pair of leggings and contemplated pulling on the fuzzy sweater she had stuffed into her bag back on Sunday but opted for the now well worn sweatshirt that she couldn't seem to stop wearing. 

"Have a good time." Abby called as Clarke left the house.

 

Jasper and Monty lived in an old brick apartment building that sat five stories high on the Main Street of their small town. Out of all the friends they had the cheapest most worn down place to call home but it still somehow ended up being the place the group most frequented. Jasper loved having company and he took advantage of playing the host as often as he could. When she reached the door to their apartment Clarke didn't even bother to knock but she simply turned the knob and pushed the always unlocked door open.

"Clarke!" Jasper gasped from the futon that took up the majority of their small living space which was directly in front of the door. He jumped up and threw his xbox controller down before he rushed to her side and pulled her into a tight hug. The air suddenly squeezed out of her lungs but not before she let out a soft laugh.

"You're going to kill her." Monty calmly said, his eyes still trained on the large 64 inch tv they had somehow managed to fit up on their wall. He raised his hands and his controller up slightly as he shot at the guys that charged him in the game. "Hey Clarke." He added.

"Hey Monty." She smiled after Jasper finally let her go and returned to the futon. "Am I the first one here?" She asked while looking around.

"No." Monty answered still focusing on the game, "Octavia and Harper are in the kitchen. Bellamy said he's on his way with a surprise. Whatever that means." He jabbed down at a button with his thumb and then turned to slap Jasper on the leg, "You just killed me, idiot!" 

"I switched sides, like the double fricken agent that I am." Jasper argued and then stood up with his hands in the air as he celebrated a victory.

"You can't just decide to switch sides, that's not how the game works." Monty argued. "Now it just looks like we lost!" The two continued to bicker and Clarke smiled at the normalcy that surrounded her before she headed towards the kitchen to see what the girls were up to. When she walked under the small entryway that connected the kitchen to the rest of the apartment Clarke could see that Octavia was leaning against the counter by herself and was focused on her phone. When she heard Clarke walk in she looked up and suddenly put her phone down on to the counter.

"Hey O." Clarke tried, not knowing if the other woman would talk to her. Octavia suddenly pushed away from the counter and pulled Clarke into a tight hug.

"I'm going to need to start wearing padding if everyone is going to insist on hugging me so tight." Clarke laughed and Octavia let her go with a small smile.

"Sorry." She grinned.

"It's ok. But I thought you..."

"were still being a complete moron and treating you horribly?" Octavia finished for her.

"I was just going to say 'mad at me.'" Clarke laughed again.

"I'm so sorry, Clarke." Octavia rushed, "I shouldn't have let all the stuff about you and Bellamy get in the way of what you were dealing with. I mean, your dad  _died,_ Clarke." Octavia emphasized the last part and even though it was a somber thing Clarke found herself laughing uncontrollably. Octavia stepped back and looked Clarke over as though she expected her to suddenly combust.

"I don't really know why I'm laughing." Clarke barely got out just as she heard Jasper and Monty exclaim something from the living room. She continued to laugh and she had to catch herself on the counter as she struggled to pull in a full breath of air.

"What the hell is going on in here?" Someone said from behind Clarke, "I'll take two of whatever she is clearly on." the voice said again. Clarke spun around suddenly and came face to face with someone she loved almost as much as she loved Octavia, John Murphy.

"Murphy!" She yelled still in hysterics.

"Clarke!" He mimicked her excited high pitched tone and then eyed Octavia, "Seriously, what is wrong with her?" Octavia just shrugged and grinned as Clark nearly knocked Murphy over with a hug.

"What are you doing here?" Clarke finally asked once she calmed down and caught her breathe.

"Did Bellamy tell no one that I was coming home for the holidays?" Murphy rolled his eyes and turned towards the doorway, "Thanks a lot for not preparing them, a-hole!" He lazily shouted towards the living room.

"Not a problem!" Bellamy's voice replied. 

"So you're here for a while then?" Clarke asked.

"Until the end of January. Yay." He waved his fists in the air with mock enthusiasm but then genuinely smiled at her. "I've missed your sorry butt." He said coming as close to the nicest thing he had ever said to her.

Clarke and Octavia laughed at the man that was one of their oldest friends. Murphy had originally been one of Clarke's meanest bullies back in grade school. But then she had discovered him crying after his mom had drunkenly lit into him in front of the entire class for forgetting his back pack at home. He had expected her to laugh at him and then tell everyone that he was a wimp but instead she had simply handed him a Kleenex and never brought it up again. No one had shown John Murphy an ounce of kindness ever since his dad had died and Clarke's actions had been enough to make him decide to stand by her side for life. But that didn't keep him from still being a complete jerk about it most of the time.

"We're starting the movie!" Jasper yelled with excitement from the living room. The three friends in the kitchen wandered into the small living room and picked their way to seats on the cushions that littered the floor.

"For your viewing pleasure this evening I present the Disney classic...." Jasper hit the play button on the remote with dramatic flair, "Robin Hood!

"Seriously?" Murphy groaned.

"What? You were hoping for Cinderella weren't you?" Jasper retorted gently, "Well never fear!" He pulled out the box of the movie he had just referred to, "It's next!" He gave a triumphant smile at Murphy who threw a pillow at him. He then bowed before jumping onto the futon with more energy than anyone could ever understand.

"Is he already high?" Harper whispered loudly over to Monty.

"When is he not?" Monty sighed. 

A few minutes into the movie everyone was asking where the popcorn and drinks were. 

"I thought Bellamy was bringing food since he said he had a surprise." Jasper shrugged. "Which means it's only fair if he goes in and makes the popcorn."

"Wait, how does that end with me...you know what? Never mind. I need to find new friends." Bellamy grumbled but stood.

"I'll help you." Clarke jumped up thinking that she could really use a drink. She missed the daggers Octavia's eyes were stabbing into her back as she walked past her. 

 

"Do they even have popcorn in here?" Bellamy absently asked as he opened and closed cabinets.

"Here." Clarke replied and attempted to open the cabinet that was above the stove's exhaust hood. The cabinet was well out of her reach and Bellamy chuckled behind her. 

"I'll get it." He said and headed over towards her.

"No." She huffed and climbed up onto the counter.

"Clarke, stop being such a dork." He chuckled but stood still and watched her reach up from her knees and open the cabinet. She pulled out a box of microwave popcorn and tossed it over to him before shutting the small door and turning around to sit on the counter.

"See." She said, "I did it."  Bellamy came to put a bag of popcorn into the microwave next to her and bent his head down and gave her a large smile.  Jasper barged into the room as though he were looking for something but came to a stop and looked at the two in front of him.

Suddenly he called over his shoulder, "Hey guys...." He draws out with a questioning tone while keeping his eyes on Bellamy and Clarke, "Does anyone remember that old movie, "Invasion of the Body Snatchers?"

Monty and Harper came up behind him and looked over to see Clarke and Bellamy still close to one another. Monty grabbed Jasper by the collar of his jacket and pulled him backwards out of the room. 

"So, is that a no then or...." Jasper feigned confusion while looking between Harper and Monty.

Harper hurried after the guys once Monty pulled Jasper through to the living room and she gave them an awkward grin,

"Sorry." She whispered and then turned to leave as well.

Bellamy and Clarke watched their friends dash away and suddenly they were both doubled over in laughter. Clarke wiped at her eyes and looked over at Bellamy who was doing the same. She very rarely heard him actually laugh and she realized she rather liked the deep rumbly sound of it. 

"We better get back in there before Jasper makes O even more suspicious of us." Bellamy said as he pulled out the bag of popped popcorn.

Clarke rolled her eyes at the idea of Octavia even considering her and Bellamy could have something between them. But when she looked back over at him she realized that something had shifted in their relationship over the course of just a few days. She wasn't sure what it was and she didn't know if it would really last but she found that it was something she could get used to if it did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Murphy!!!! Am I crazy for actually loving that guy? I love the idea of him being one of Clarke's best friends. I feel like we could all use a sarcastic all too honest best friend like that ;)
> 
> Also, yes, I did give in and had Bellamy make Clarke some pancakes. Who doesn't love a guy that can cook?
> 
> Thank you for all the Kudos and comments 😘


	6. Civil Talks and Arguments

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Get off of me! Murphy!” Clarke yelled at him and grabbed at his arm.
> 
> “Don't worry. He loves you too." He whispered at her just as someone walked into the room. They both froze and Clarke looked up through her hair to see the man they had just been discussing looking at them with a deep frown on his face.
> 
> "I will never understand your friendship." He sighed.

Grief is a funny thing. One moment you could be laughing hysterically with your friends and feeling like maybe everything really would be ok, and then the next moment your whole world could turn on its axis and show you just how cruel life could be.

Clarke teetered back and forth between the two extremes for the next couple of weeks. She found plenty of ways to keep herself busy with school and projects as she worked to keep the pain and grief that swirled around inside of her from landing on her heart. However, as the season wore on and her classes came to a stop for winter break, Clarke found herself doing little more than laying on her couch and flipping through the channels on her and Octavia's small TV Christmas was still a few days off but Clarke had done absolutely nothing to prepare for the holiday that she usually loved.

On one of her particularly bad afternoons she was laying on the couch under a pile of blankets and blankly stared at the TV when the door to her apartment suddenly flew open and John Murphy all but burst into the room. Clarke glanced his way and noticed his arms were filled with bags, but her mind didn't register much more than that. 

"Don't bother offering to help." He mumbled over the plastic bag that he carried with his teeth. When Clarke didn't make a move he rolled his eyes and kicked the door shut before he walked towards the kitchen where he began to dump the bags onto the island. Clarke finally sighed and slowly sat up before she pushed herself off of the couch and out from under the warm comforting blankets. She sauntered over to Murphy and watched him pull things out of the bags.

"You brought groceries?" She asked, eyeing the things he placed on the island.

"Good eye, Sherlock." He quipped. 

"I just didn't take you for the type to show up baring, what is this? Frozen vegetable medley?" She held up the bag of frozen veggies and stared at him.

"First of all, I take offense that you don't think I'm more than capable of taking care of my friends when they are depressed and grieving." He rolled his eyes.

"Murphy, I'm sor...."

"Second," He cut her off and held up two fingers, "Bellamy bought all of this crap and forced me to bring it." He smirked at her and then grabbed the vegetables out of her hands and turned to put them away in the freezer. 

"He's probably worried Octavia isn't eating real food since I'm not exactly cooking these days." She nodded and sat down on a stool with a huff.

"Right. I'm sure that's it." Murphy's words dripped with sarcasm. "Is she still being an ice queen?" He asked as he worked to put away more of the groceries. Clarke leaned her chin onto her palm and watched him. 

"She's talked to me a little bit. But she's been busy with classes, work, and spending more time with Lincoln." Clarke replied.

"So that's a yes." He nodded. "What **_is_**  up with you two anyways?" He suddenly asked.

"She's just mad that I.."

"No, you and Bellamy."

"What?"

"Oh come on, you're not fooling anyone with the big eyes and dumb expression. You're a terrible liar, Clarke."

"There is nothing 'up' with us." She huffed.

"Did I not just explain to you that you are a terrible liar? Ter-ri-ble LI-AR. That means you can not lie. Especially not to me." He stopped in front of her and stared her down.

"What do you want me to say? We're finally not wanting to kill one another all the time? We're actually behaving like civil adults around each other? That's it, Murphy."

"So you like him, huh?"

"I hate you." Clarke groaned and laid her head down on the counter.

"But you love _him_." Clarke suddenly stood and took a swing at Murphy but came up laughably short. Murphy dodged her second attempt to punch him and he threw his arm around her neck and playfully pulled her down in to a head lock.

"Get off of me!" Clarke yelled at him and grabbed at his arm.

"Don't worry. He loves you too." He whispered at her just as someone walked into the room. They both froze and Clarke looked up through her hair to see the man they had just been discussing looking at them with a deep frown on his face.

"I will never understand your friendship." He sighed. Clarke finally pulled Murphy's arm off of her neck and pushed him. She turned to walk away but suddenly whirled back around and punched him just below his shoulder with as much force as she could muster.

"Hey!" He yelped and scurried away from her.

"Seriously," Bellamy shook his head, "You realize this isn't normal, right?" He was now sitting at the kitchen island and continued to watch them. 

Clarke looked over at Murphy and the two started cracking up at Bellamy's expense.

"Oh, by the way, Clarke." Murphy said between chuckles, "Bellamy is here too and will be in as soon as he gets off the phone." 

"You left my keys in the door, idiot. And I hate you." Bellamy groaned.

"But you lo.." Murphy started but quickly shut his mouth when Clarke went at him with her fist again, "Alright, alright!" He yelled. "I yield!"

Bellamy continued to stare at the two in front of him with a blank expression.

"Again, I will never understand this." He said while pointing at the two of them.

"This is what true friendship looks like, my man." Murphy replied as he placed his arm around Clarke's shoulders. "Now, if you two will excuse me. I have no real reason to leave, but I'm going to." And with that he walked away and left the apartment.

"Where did he just go?" Clarke asked without really expecting an answer.

"Well he won't get far since he rode over with me." Bellamy grinned and Clarke laughed again.

"Wow, it's been a while since I've laughed." She said when she finally caught her breath.

"How are you holding up?" He asked as he looked her over and took in the fact that her hair was a crazy mess, she had splotches of old makeup randomly on her face, and she still wore the large hoodie that he had long ago decided he would never actually get back.

"Eh." She responded with a shrug.

"That good huh?" He smirked.

"It doesn't help that I have nothing to do right now. At least when I had classes I could stay busy."

"That's not exactly a better alternative, Clarke." He leaned forward and tried to catch her eyes.

"I know." She sighed and waved him off. "My mom has already told me that."

"How is she doing?"

"She's actually taking it pretty hard. I think she blames herself. It doesn't really make logical sense but I guess nothing about grief really does, huh?"

"No." Bellamy sighed, "You should get out tonight. I'm working at O'Mally's and everyone will be there including some of my..."

He was suddenly cut off by the front door slamming and Octavia stomping through the apartment.

"Hey O." He called over and turned to talk to her. She kept at her pace and headed towards her room without even acknowledging him.

"O, Bellamy and Murphy brought over some groceries." Clarke tried. The dark haired woman disappeared into her room and then slammed her bedroom door.

"And here I thought we were starting to get back to normal." Clarke sighed.

"She has never stayed mad at me this long before." Bellamy said almost with a laugh. "Not even when I ran over her bike with my car "on accident."" He said while making quotation marks in the air.

"Wait. You mean you  ** _did_** do that on purpose!?" Clarke stammered.

"Of course I did! She tattled on me for being five minutes late for curfew! I got grounded for two freaking weeks! She deserved it." Bellamy grinned at his confession.

"I knew it!" Clarke shouted.

"But I'll deny it until the day I die if you ever try to tell her." Bellamy raised an eyebrow at her as though to dare her to say something. Clarke gave him a slightly annoyed grin and leaned her hip against the island that separated them.

"Are you two done flirting yet?" Octavia suddenly growled from behind Bellamy.

"O." Bellamy said as a warning.

"Are you really going to deny that you two are together now!?" She threw back at him.

"Clarke and I are not together, Octavia." He replied while turning towards her.

"Then explain to me why she would choose to go to you instead of me when something was bothering her not once but twice? And since when do you two go more than two minutes without fighting? And you're calling her Clarke now?"

"That is her name last I checked." He crossed his arms over his chest and glared at his sister.

"I thought you said she was a pretentious little princess that wouldn't know a genuine emotion if it bit her on the ass." She mirrored his defiant posture.

"And you nearly punched my teeth out after I said that, if I recall correctly." He said slightly more gently . 

"She's  _my_ friend, Bellamy. Not another one of your dumb sluts."

"Hey, whoa! That is too far Octavia!" He shouted and came to stand in front of her. "Take it back." He seethed.

"Or what?" She retorted with a cocky smirk. Bellamy shook is head and glared at her. They had a standoff for a few moments until Octavia's eyes broke away from his and she looked over into the kitchen with confusion. 

"Where did Clarke go?" She asked with a furrowed brow. Bellamy spun around to find the kitchen empty.

"Nice going, O." He grumbled and headed towards Clarke's bedroom.

 

"What are you doing out here?" Murphy asked as he jogged up the steps to sit next to Clarke on her front step.

"Where did you go?" She asked him, ignoring his question.

"I went for a run. Surprising I know. Sometimes I do actually try to do things that may result in me sticking around for a long time." He gave her a smile and then bumped her leg with his own. "But you didn't answer my question. You alright?" 

Clarke sighed and felt the tears that threatened to run down her cheeks. "They're fighting because of me." She nodded her head at the door.

"Who? Bellamy and Octavia?" Clarke nodded and brought her knees up under her chin. "Sorry to burst your bubble but Octavia's been itching to start a fight with Bellamy for years. You just gave her the final push that she needed."

"John Murphy. Always the wisest one among us all." Clarke laughed into her arms before she turned her head and rested her cheek on them.

"I'm just observant." He corrected her.

The door behind them opened and Bellamy strode out of the apartment.

"I found her." He called inside before he slammed the door. 

"I'm heading out, Murphy." He said as he tried to fit between them and hopped down the steps. "You coming?" He called over his shoulder when he made it halfway to his car.

"Naw. I'll stick around here." Murphy yelled back. "I'll make sure Clarke makes it to O'Mally's tonight."

Bellamy nodded but never looked in Clarke's direction before he pulled his door open and slid into his car. With a rumble of the engine he pulled out onto the road and was gone.

"Something tells me you two are going to have to have a very real and very awkward conversation soon." Murphy grinned at Clarke before hopping up and heading into the apartment. 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

" _O, try to be nice." Bellamy warned as he parked the car outside of the restaurant._

_"I make no promises big brother."  She huffed from beside him, "And why doesn't Clarke get a warning?" She hitched her thumb over her shoulder to indicate Clarke in the backseat of their mom's old Saturn, which Bellamy and Octavia had resorted to taking turns driving since they couldn't afford another vehicle on Bellamy's paycheck._

_"I don't even want to be here." Clarke grumbled with a sour expression._

_"Well I'm not exactly happy to have you here either, Princess." Bellamy sighed and then turned to Octavia. "This is important to me, O. I really like her and I want the two of you to meet. I gave in and let Clarke come so you weren't the third wheel. But I really want you to try and get along with her. Ok?"_

_"Fine." Octavia let out. She then turned and pulled at the handle of the old car and pushed her way out before slamming the door._

_"Why does this have to be so difficult?" Bellamy said to the ceiling of the car._

_"Probably because of all the girls you've dated and dumped over the years." Clarke quipped from the backseat. Bellamy rolled his eyes, he had completely forgotten about the annoying little blonde in his backseat._

_"This is different, Griffin." He pulled at the handle of his own door and stepped out before she could respond. Clarke followed his lead and went to stand next to Octavia after shutting her door._

_"If this sucks as much as I think it will we'll quietly excuse ourselves to the bathroom and then make a run for it." Octavia whispered to Clarke as they followed Bellamy into the dimly lit Italian restaurant. Clarke simply smiled at her friend and shook her head. The three of them stopped at the front of the restaurant and Bellamy looked around until he spotted the thin striking woman that sat at an empty table on the edge of the room. The woman waved at him and he smiled in return._

_"Come on." He whispered to the girls._

_"Hi!" The woman said and stood as the group found their way to her table._

_"Hi." Bellamy replied and leaned over to kiss her cheek. Octavia made small gagging noises for Clarke's ears alone. "Echo, this is Octavia." He gestured towards his sister. "O, this is Echo."_

_"Did you guys like meet on a weird names united chat room or something?" Octavia scoffed as she ignored Echo's outstretched hand and sat down. Echo's face registered surprise for a moment but it was suddenly replaced with a large smile._

_"So humor and sarcasm run in the family I see." She said looking at Bellamy who was shooting his sister a glare. The group took their seats and Echo looked over at Clarke._

_"You must be the Princess then?" She asked with a slightly more muted smile._

_"Clarke." She corrected and held out her hand. Echo took it and pumped it twice before letting it go._

_"I am starving." Octavia piped up next to Clarke, "Where are the menus?"_

_"I went ahead and ordered us a pizza." Echo said as she leaned back into her seat._

_"You what?" Octavia narrowed her eyes at the woman across from her._

_"Bellamy said you liked pizza." She shrugged. "So I got us a half veggie half meat lovers."  She stared right back at Octavia and didn't blink._

_"I don't **want** pizza tonight." Octavia said through gritted teeth._

_Something collided with Clarke's shin and she let out yelp. Bellamy's eyes caught hers in surprise._

_"Sorry." He quietly grumbled at her before Octavia jumped and glared over at him._

_The rest of the evening didn't get much better.  Bellamy gladly relinquished the key to the car so that Octavia and Clark could leave the second they had finished eating._

_After such a rocky start, Bellamy didn't bring Echo around the house much and Octavia was all too happy with not having to interact with the woman she secretly called "the bulldozer."_

 

_"What did you get for number seven?" Clarke asked of Octavia as the two worked on their trigonometry homework in Clarke's room. Octavia didn't answer and Clarke looked up to see her staring off into space.  "Hello? Earth to Octavia!" Clarke waved her hand in front of Octavia who finally snapped out of it and rolled her eyes at her friend._

_"This is the third night in a row that I'm stuck at your house because he has **her** over." Octavia remarked with disdain._

_"Why do you hate her so much?" Clarke asked while grabbing Octavia's notebook to look at her answers._

_"Because she's no good for him. She's bossy and demanding. Did I tell you she got kicked out of her apartment because her roommates couldn't stand her anymore?"_

_"Bellamy has dated all kinds of girls in the past. Some of them were even worse than Echo, so why do you care so much this time?"_

_"Because he was never serious about any of those girls. How long was his longest relationship? Four months?"_

_"Not even that." Clarke laughed._

_"But these two have been together for nearly a year. A **year** Clarke! And I caught him looking at rings online the other night!"  Octavia threw her pencil down and continued to stew in her anger._

_"If you really think she's no good for him then tell him, O." Clarke shrugged and went back to her homework._

_"You honestly think I haven't."_

_"No, I mean talk to him. With words and a calm voice. Don't just yell at him or walk around with a chip on your shoulder and assume he knows what is bothering you."_

_"Right, because you're the perfect person to be telling me how to talk calmly with Bellamy." Octavia smiled and rolled her eyes._

_"He's not **my** brother." Clarke shrugged. "It's not important if he likes me or not." She laughed. "I think we need some chocolate." She stood up and headed for her door. "You got number two wrong, by the way."_

_"Nerd." Octavia said under her breath._

 

_Clarke was rummaging through the nearly empty cabinets in her kitchen when she heard the front door shut. She listened for a moment and then decided to go see who had come in. As she made her way towards the den that opened off of the foyer she met Bellamy coming in._

_"Why was that door unlocked?" He asked with an annoyed expression as he ran his hand through his hair._

_"Um, because this isn't the middle of New York City?" Clarke snarked._

_"I could have been an ax murderer, Princess."_

_"That would have been better." She retorted and turned to leave._

_"Why must you always be so annoying?" He barked at her which caused Clarke to suddenly stop and turn back around. They had never gotten along and often fought but he very rarely if ever actually yelled at her. He caught her staring at him and his face suddenly fell before he ran his hand over it._

_"Sorry." He muttered._

_"What's got you all pissed off?" She asked._

_"Nothing. You just shouldn't leave the stupid door unlocked." He looked around the room and seemed to be avoiding her eyes._

_"Whatever you say." She walked back to the kitchen. "O's up in my room." She shouted over her shoulder as she continued walking._

 

_"Echo is moving to Texas." Clarke nearly jumped at Bellamy's voice as it echoed through her kitchen. She spun around on her heels and looked over to see him taking a seat at the large granite island._

_"That sucks." She nodded and returned to her search for chocolate by opening the fridge._

_"She wants me to go with her."_

_"I guess that sucks less?"_

_"But she's leaving at the end of the month. O still has to finish out this year. Graduation isn't for another four months."_

_"And you're still taking classes at the college." Clarke pointed out._

_"That's not exactly a road block, Princess." He was looking down at his hands and refused to meet her eyes. "Echo wants me to tell O that she can either move with us or finish up here and join us when she's done."_

_Clarke couldn't contain what started out as a soft chuckle but slowly morphed into a loud cynical laugh._

_"That's just stupid. You know O will never go for that right? The moving to Texas with Echo part, I'm sure she'd be more than happy to live here on her own."_

_"Well I would not be happy with her being here by herself, even if she is technically an adult."_

_"Then don't go. Because you know there is no way Octavia will move clear across the country in the middle of her senior year, especially if that means living with or near Echo."_

_"She really hates her that much?" He asked and finally looked up at Clarke who stared at him dumbfounded._

_"What do you think Bellamy?"_

_He sighed and ran his hand over his face again. "Why am I even talking to you about this?" He seemed to be asking the ceiling._

_"Probably because you knew I'd tell you like it is and not give you some fluffy B.S. to make you feel better about it." Clarke shrugged and slammed the fridge door closed._

_"So you really don't think she'll ever come around to liking her." He summarized._

_"Especially not if it means you or both of you moving to Texas." She agreed. Bellamy's face suddenly seemed to register that he had decided on something and he simply nodded at her. He stood up and walked out of the kitchen. Clarke could hear the thumps of footsteps as he ran up the steps to retrieve his sister._

_"You're welcome." She whispered._

 

_Octavia: THEY BROKE UP!!! Ding Dong the witch is...moving! We need to celebrate!_

_Clarke reread the text for the third time two days after she and Bellamy had talked in her kitchen. She wondered if Octavia had any idea she had been the reason her brother was no longer with the one woman he had seemed to actually want to spend his life with._

_~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~_

"Nope, nope. Try again." Murphy grabbed Clarke by the arms and swung her around towards her bedroom door before he pushed her back through the opening. He reached around her and pulled on her door until she moved out of the way and he could easily shut it. "And don't come back out until you're in something that is at the very least socially acceptable!" He yelled at the door.

"I put on jeans, Murphy!" She yelled back from her room.

"Yes, and we all thank you for your efforts, Clarke. But now you need to do something about that sorry ass sweatshirt you keep wearing. It makes you look like a five year old playing dress up in daddy's clothes." He walked away from the door and took a seat on the arm of the chair that sat just at the end of the couch. 

"Are you seriously sitting out there just staring at my door right now?" Clarke called.

"You know me oh so well!" He yelled back and stretched his arms over his head just as he heard Clarke let out a throaty groan. Five minutes later Clarke pulled her door open and walked out with a defiant tilt of her head. She raised her arms up at her side just a bit and did a slow turn for Murphy.

"Will this suffice?" She asked in reference to her blue V-neck sweater.

"You don't have anything more form fitting?" Murphy teased while looking her over.

"I swear I'm going to kill you." Clarke laughed.

"I guess this will work." He sighed and stood up. "Now, go do your hair and warpaint so we can get out of this depressing place!" He shoved her again and Clarke stumbled towards the bathroom.

"I don't know why I put up with you." She grumbled.

"No one ever does." He muttered back before he plopped down onto the couch and closed his eyes with a smile.

 

Clarke and Murphy pulled up to a spot in the crowded parking lot and she looked over at the glowing windows of the bar she hadn't been to since the night Finn had cornered her and wanted to talk. Finn. Wow, that felt like ages ago. She sighed and put the jeep in park.

"Listen." Murphy said softly from beside her. "I know it's hard to get yourself back out there when you're still riding the rollercoaster of grief." 

"Very poetic." She laughed.

"Clarke, can you...I'm trying to be serious for once ok? Just... ok? Try to have a good time. Don't censor yourself. If you want to talk about your dad then talk about your dad. If you want to completely act like everything is fine then do that. If at any point you feel like you need to leave we can leave.  But don't expect me to be your designated driver because I plan to get full out wasted. Yep, serious moment over. I couldn't hold onto it any longer" He stretched out his arms, "Man that was brutal. How do you people do that for hours each day?" He grinned at her and pushed his door open. Clarke laughed and followed him.

 

Clarke looked around the bar and realized with slight disappointment that it was actually packed with people. Her friends had been shoved into a booth at the other end of the large room and Bellamy gave her a quick nod from the bar when he noticed her and Murphy making their way over. 

"Why is it so crazy in here?" Clarke shouted over the noise to Harper who was sitting closest to her.

"Probably because a lot of people are back home for this weekend." Harper said, receiving a confused look from Clarke. "You know, Christmas?" 

"Oh right." Clarke said with a sad smile. She had purposefully been trying to forget about the holiday coming up. "I'm going to go order something." She shouted to the group, "Does anyone want anything?" Three heads shook at her and Murphy raised his eyebrows as a yes. She made her way to the bar, bumping into the occasional body or tripping over feet that sat out too far from the chairs. 

"Excuse me." She shouted to two men that sat close to one another at the bar making it nearly impossible for her to lean in and tell Bellamy what she wanted.

"Oops, sorry. Hey Clarke!" Clarke looked over at the mention of her name and found herself smiling at Miles Shaw, Bellamy's oldest and closest friend. 

"Shaw!" She pulled him into a quick side hug. "I haven't seen you in a while."

"Oh you know. Work." He chuckled at her. "But Bellamy finally convinced me to take a night off." He nodded towards his good friend. His eyes focused on something behind her and he grinned again. "Oh, I have someone you should meet." He said and pushed at her shoulder so that she would spin around. "This is Roan." He said as the large man now in front of Clarke looked her over and smiled.

"A pleasure to finally meet you, Clarke." Roan held out a large strong looking hand and she shook it. 

"You too Roan!" She shouted over the noise. "Did you say finally?" She cocked her head with confusion.

"You are  _the_ Clarke Griffin right? The Princess?" He teased her with the nickname Bellamy had cursed her with. She rolled her eyes and turned to look for the man she now wanted to yell at.

"Depends." She said, "What has he told you?" She laughed.

"Oh the usual things people say when they can't stop thinking about someone." Roan's deep rumbly voice crooned as he continued to tease her. Clarke stared at him for a moment and wondered if she had heard him correctly. He raised his eyebrows at her and took a drink of his beer. "Would you mind saving my seat for a sec? I see someone I recognize over there." He stood without waiting for her to respond and she shook her head at the odd conversation she had just had with a stranger with a man bun and an odd scar on his face. But she took his stool anyways.

"He's a nice guy. Just sort of obnoxious. We were in the army together so it's sort of mandatory that we stay friends." Shaw laughed beside her and she nodded. "Hey, sorry to hear about your dad." Shaw bent his head down to catch her eyes. 

"Thanks, Shaw." She said.

"If you ever need anything just call. ok?" He squeezed her arm and gave her a reassuring smile.

"Clarke." Bellamy said gruffly from in front of her and she noticed how his eyes lingered on Shaw's hand that still rested on her arm. Shaw noticed too and quickly pulled it away with a small laugh before he picked up his drink in front of him.

"Hey." She said back. "Can I get a beer? Whatever is the cheapest and grossest on tap."

"Murphy?" Bellamy grinned.

"Ya." She smiled back. "And I'll have that pineapple cider." She pointed towards the small glass door of the fridge that sat on the floor against the back wall. 

Bellamy nodded and bent down to get her cider first. He straightened up and twisted the lid off before handing it over to her. She thanked him and he smiled before he left to get Murphy's drink.

"So it's true." Shaw breathed from beside her.

"What?" She shouted.

"Nothing!" He shouted back with a mischievous grin. Clarke rolled her eyes and grabbed at the glass Bellamy was now handing her.

"Well, I'm sitting over there." She motioned towards the booth where her friends continued to sit and chat. "You should come over at some point."

"Will do!" He said and raised his bottle at her. 

 

After a few hours of talking and laughing Clarke looked around to see that the bar had started to empty out. She stretched out on the padded bench of the booth and placed her feet on the other side next to Murphy who looked down at her shoes and then glared at her. She gave him a smug smile and shrugged. He eyed her for another moment but then grinned back and picked up where he had left off in conversation with Jasper.

"Hey! Mind if I pull up a chair?" Shaw suddenly said beside her, "Hey Murphy!" He suddenly exclaimed and moved to shake hands with the man across from Clarke.

"Shaw." Murphy sighed.

"Still same old Murphy I see." Shaw laughed and pulled up a chair from an empty table close by. "So. What's new?" He looked back over at Clarke after taking in the small conversations between all the others that took up the seats at the booth.

"Not much." Clarke shrugged. "Just getting by I guess. I may start working as a TA for my modern arts teacher next semester but it's not official yet."

"Uh huh." Shaw nodded. "Cool. Very cool. So what's with you and Bellamy?" He suddenly rushed to ask, revealing that it was all he really wanted to talk about.

"Why does everyone keep asking me that!?" Clarke groaned.

"Uh, probably because you two have done a complete 180. That earlier," He pointed towards the bar over his shoulder, "That was not normal. I have never seen him not jump at the chance to tell you that your drink order was completely lame and wrong." He laughed and looked down at the bottle of cider in front of her.

"It was busy." Clarke tried to reason.

"Keep telling yourself that. Something's different." He leaned back in his chair and began bouncing his legs as he seemed to try and figure it out.

"Make sure Octavia doesn't hear you say that." Clarke sighed.

"Why's that? Where is she anyways?"

"She's pissed off at Bellamy and I. She thinks we're secretly dating behind her back or something. She thinks we're head over heels in love."  Clarke said the last part as a total joke but was disappointed when Shaw simply nodded.

"I could definitely see that."

"Shut it, Miles." 

"Touchy, touchy." He laughed and took a swig from his beer bottle. "But you have to admit she's really not that far off."

"No, I don't."

"You heard Roan. Someone that has never even met you already knows you're someone very important and high on Bellamy's friends list. Not that it's really that long of a list to begin with, but still."

"Roan was just trying to get a rise out of me."

"How would you know? Did you spend six months in a barracks with him?" He gave her a sarcastic grin. 

"I don't want to talk about this anymore." Clarke grumbled.

"Ok." Shaw relented. "But you need another drink. There's no way that stuff is actually any good." He wrinkled his nose in disgust. "Come on."

He stood and waited for Clarke to join him. She sighed and looked at her friends who were still busy chatting amongst themselves. She finally stood and followed him over to the now nearly empty bar.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

" _I've decided I'm going to marry Miles Shaw." Clarke sighed as she plopped onto Octavia's bed. Octavia looked over from her closet where she was trying to find a suitable outfit and busted out laughing._

_"Good luck with that." She teased._

_"What? It could happen!" Clarke insisted._

_"He's twenty-two and you're seventeen, Clarke."_

_"I didn't mean today!" She laughed. "Some day down the road. And we will have beautiful blue eyed dark skinned babies."_

_"You're so weird." Octavia laughed and pulled out a top. "How about this?" She asked holding up the top along with a skirt. Clarke rolled over onto her stomach and eyed the clothes Octavia held up._

_"Uh, does Bellamy know you have that?" She pointed to the mini skirt._

_"Does Bellamy get a say in what I wear?" Octavia mimicked Clarke's tone._

_"You say that but you know that if you walked downstairs in that outfit he would come unglued!"_

_"Which is exactly why I won't be wearing it downstairs in front of him." Octavia replied as she moved towards the bed and laid the clothes down onto her comforter._

_"Then yes. That is a good outfit for your first date." Clarke nodded and looked over the skirt again. "Where is Atom taking you anyways?"_

_"Just to see a movie. He didn't even tell me which one." She rolled her eyes at her friend._

_"You're lucky to at least have someone interested in you." Clarke groaned._

_"Well, there was that one guy that was pretty hung up on you for a while. What was his name?"_

_"Derek?" Clarke answered but waved it off. "Nothing ever came of that. The last thing I heard was he was maybe thinking about asking me to prom at the end of the year, but then he stopped talking to me and no one has said anything else about it."_

_"Oh...he was the one that was going to ask you to prom?"_

_"Ya."_

_Octavia gave Clarke an odd nod of her head and she awkwardly avoided Clarke's gaze._

_"Octavia?"_

_The dark haired girl continued to stare down at the outfit on her bed and pretended to smooth out some nonexistent wrinkles._

_"What are you not telling me, O?" Clarke sat up and stared her friend down. Octavia sighed and finally turned towards her._

_"Bellamy may or may not have told Derek that if he asked you to prom he would break every bone in his body."_

_"_ _**WHAT!?"** Clarke screamed and jumped up from the bed. Octavia simply shrugged and scrunched up forehead and lips with a look that said 'I don't know what to tell ya.' _

_"I am going to **Kill** him." Clarke declared and stormed over to the door._

_"Can you bring some Mountain Dew on your way back up?" Octavia shouted after her._

 

_"BELLAMY BLAKE!" Bellamy heard Clarke scream as he stopped_ _mid sentence to turn away from a confused looking Shaw._

_"What's up Princess?" He shot back at Clarke when she finally materialized next to him._

_"Did you threaten to beat up Derek Shirer if he asked me to prom?" She wasted no time in accusing him._

_"I think I told him I'd break every bone in his body, so yes." He calmly responded and turned back to his friend._

_"How dare you!" She screamed at him._

_"It was for your own good." He said with his back still towards her._

_"You have NO right making that decision! I can go out with whomever I want, Bellamy! I am seventeen years old and you are not my father!"_

_"Thank goodness." He whispered just loud enough for her to hear. She quickly walked the few steps that stood between them and smacked him hard across his curly black head._

_"Hey, ow!" He jumped up and turned on her. "Maybe instead of getting all dramatic and whiny about it you should ask me WHY I threatened him!" He shouted down at her._

_"There is no reason for you to ever butt into my personal life!" She reached up on her tip toes and shouted right back into his face._

_"Oh, so you would have been perfectly fine with a guy going around telling everyone that he scored with the little rich girl? Though I guess it wouldn't have been much of a brag since he was already telling everyone that he thought you'd be pretty EASY. "_

_Clarke's face burned as the realization of what Bellamy was saying hit her._

_"He never said that." She said quietly. "How would you even know if he did."_

_"Just because I don't go to that stupid school anymore doesn't mean I don't hear all the dumb gossip, Clarke. People speak pretty freely at The Spot." He said referring to his job at the local coffee shop._

_"I still hate you." Clarke growled at him and then spun on her heels to stomp away._

_"I think you meant to say 'Thank You!'"  He shouted back before he returned to his seat on the couch and a grinning Shaw._

_"What are you smiling about?" Bellamy groaned._

_"I like her." Shaw shrugged._

_~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~_

 

"Hey Bellamy!" Shaw shouted over to the man that was busy talking to a couple of women at the opposite end of the bar. "I've got a thirsty girl over here!" He laughed at Clarke's mortified expression as she came to sit next to him.

"And to think I once wanted to marry you." She muttered.

Bellamy walked over to the the two of them and took in Shaw's surprised expression and the yawn Clarke let loose.

"Did you actually want something?" He asked while crossing his arms over his chest.

"Did you know that Clarke once wanted to marry me?" Shaw exclaimed. 

"Emphasis on the once." Clarke grinned back at him.

"Is this why you called me over here?" Bellamy grumbled and started to walk away.

"Whoa. No, she's needs a real drink." Shaw grabbed at Bellamy's arm before he sat back into his seat. "I stood by and let you order that ridiculous cider but I can no longer sit silent. How about some shots for the could have been Mrs. Miles Shaw!?" He laughed.

"I don't really do shots _..."_

"Clark doesn't drink like that..." Clarke and Bellamy said at the same time.

"And you still think I'm wrong?" Shaw pointed at Bellamy and asked Clarke with a raise of his brow. Bellamy looked between the two of them and furrowed his own eyebrows.

"What am I missing?" He asked.

"Nothing." Clarke said dismissively.

"Ok, so no to the shots. How about a real beer?"

"I hate beer."

"It's a losing fight, Shaw." Bellamy laughed and leaned against the bar. "I've been trying to convince her to drink something less fruity for nearly a year and have yet to have any success."

"That's just because you're not as persuasive as me." Shaw laughed and took a swig of his beer. He looked away from Bellamy towards the door and suddenly began to sputter and choke on his drink.

"Who..Who is that?" He breathed out once he stopped coughing.

Bellamy turned around and Clarke leaned over to look at the thin caramel skinned woman that walked in, her long ponytail bounced with each step she took.

"Raven?" Clarke gasped.

"So you know her?" Shaw asked excitedly.

"Hardly. She was the other girl my ex boyfriend was dating." Clarke supplied.

"Oh." Shaw nodded in understanding, knowing the whole story from Bellamy's point of view. "So she's single." He stated.

"Probably?" Clarke shrugged.

"I think I may need to go introduce myself." Shaw knocked back the last of his beer and smiled at his friends. "Wish me luck."

He hopped off the stool and sauntered over to Raven who was sitting at a table with a couple of other girls. Bellamy leaned his left arm on the bar and watched his friend pull a chair up by Raven.

"Think he stands a chance?" He directed at Clarke.

"I have no idea." She laughed.

"So," He said after a moment and turned to look at her, "Shaw? Really?" He gave her a mischievous grin.

"I was seventeen." Clarke laughed. "Hey where did that guy Roan go?" Clarke looked around the bar but didn't see the large muscular man.

"He left with some crazy haired woman over an hour ago." Bellamy rolled his eyes.

"You don't like him?" Clarke observed.

"He's fine." He said unconvincingly.

"He had some interesting things to tell me." Clarke teased.

"Oh really?" Bellamy smirked up at her.

"Something about you talking about me all of the time?"

"Well, I have to complain to someone, princess." He grinned.

"Oh," Clarke nodded, "Ya, that makes sense." She grinned back.

Bellamy suddenly cleared his throat and looked at Clarke with a serious expression.

"So, sorry about earlier today." Clarke cocked her head at him and he explained, "When Octavia and I were fighting."

"Oh." She nodded, "It's ok. I'm sorry I'm the reason you're fighting." She bit her lip and looked down, "Did you at least resolve anything?"

"No." He stood up straighter and shook his head. "Once we realized you were gone I left and started looking for you. I was worried we had upset you." He shrugged.

"Since when do you worry about upsetting me?" Clarke asked with a laugh.

Bellamy gave her a weird look and held up his hand to motion to someone behind him that he would be right there.

"Honestly? I don't know. But I do." He turned around and walked over to get the order of the person that had been trying to get his attention and Clarke found herself staring at him with her mouth hanging slightly open. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did Bellamy just....? 
> 
> Final chapter coming soon!
> 
> Thanks for all the love guys!


	7. It Started With a Sigh and Ended with a Kiss

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Clarke, the seatbelt clicks in here." Bellamy laughed after he grabbed the cold metal object from her hand and secured it. She had been looking at the contraption for a few moments with a completely confused look.
> 
> "In all of the years that I have known you I'm pretty sure this is the first time I have ever seen you drunk." He teased as he pulled away from his parking spot.
> 
> "I never liked the idea of being all..." She made a crazy face and moved her hands around her head.
> 
> "I have no idea what that just was, but please don't ever do it again." He chuckled.

Clarke found herself at a crossroads. On the one hand she knew she should probably head back over to the booth and spend some more time with her friends. But on the other hand she discovered that what she really wanted to do was stay on the stool and see if Bellamy would ever make his way back over to her. He was blatantly avoiding her though, she was sure of it. There had been a lull in customers for the past ten minutes and he had done everything he could possibly do to stay as far away from her end of the bar. Clarke sighed and played with the straw in her glass of water that Bellamy had all but shoved at her before he strode off to refill napkin dispensers. He was falling back into typical Bellamy mode. Being all kind and fun one second and then cold and distant the next. She watched him as he wiped down the counter for the third time and noticed that he quickly glanced her way before he briskly turned back around. She couldn't help but wonder if he was feeling annoyed with himself for suddenly caring about her.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

_"Clarke," Bellamy said, "Just take the damn car." He noticed the way she looked around with a nearly crazed expression. Her anger and frustration from her jeep not working had almost startled him just moments ago, but he remembered all too well the sudden and extreme emotions that grief could throw at you._

_"I don't need your help Bellamy Blake!" She suddenly screamed at him. He pushed away from the wall that he had been leaning on and found himself torn between wanting to go pull her into a huge hug and letting her just get it all out. He chose to do the latter, knowing that she needed to be allowed to express her feelings. "I..I can take care of myself." She added while staring at the floor. "Aren't you the one that always told me I needed to do that more?"  She continued to stare at the floor and Bellamy's heart suddenly felt tight in his chest. Why had he been so stupid all of those years, telling Clarke she needed to toughen up and look out for herself? Why hadn't he ever admitted to her that she was the one that was actually right. That she had, in all reality, taught him that it was ok to accept help. He took a few hesitant steps and then made up his mind before closing the gap between them._

_"Someone once told me it was ok to let others take care of you." He said softly to her, hoping that she was really hearing him. "And honestly? She was right." He looked at her and waited for her to look up at him but her eyes stayed glued to her shoes. A sudden urge to pull her against his chest and kiss her on the crown of her head nearly sent the man running. Where had that come from?! Instead he looked over at her hand which still rested on top of the key he had given her. He gently picked her hand up from the counter and turned it over. The key still sat between her thumb and her palm so he worked to fold her fingers over it as well. The warmth of her hand sent small shocks through him and he wondered what the hell was going on with him. He squeezed her hand one last time and backed away._

_"Just take the car, Clarke." He said again and made his way back over to the dishes he had abandoned moments before. "I'll see what I can do for yours and let you know when it's ready." He didn't turn back around to see her reaction but he heard her sigh and then say thank you before she was suddenly gone._

 

_Bellamy dumped the leftover bacon and pancakes into the garbage can and sighed. Why was Clarke's grief getting to him? Maybe it had something to do with bringing up all the old feelings he had long ago pushed down after losing his own mother and father? Or was it something else entirely?_

_He filled up the sink with water and soap and all but tossed the glass plates into the water. He scrubbed at them harder than needed when it suddenly dawned on him that maybe he should have offered to drive Clarke over to her apartment instead of letting her drive in her emotional state._

_"Too late now." He mumbled to himself. He rinsed the plates and dried his hands on the small towel that hung off of one of the cabinet handles below him. He leaned  his back against the counter then and looked over at the ring of keys Clarke had slammed down onto his kitchen island._

_He wasn't one hundred percent certain why he had offered to work on her jeep. He knew that he actually had a lot of things he needed to do that day. Laundry, grocery shopping, finalizing the test he had created for his history students. But he had wanted to take at least some of the weight off of Clarke's shoulders. He wanted to give her a reason to give him a soft smile, even if it was still a slightly sad one. Suddenly a mental image of her round pink lips flashed in his mind and Bellamy felt his heart do an odd little flip._

_"Oh crap." He grumbled to himself._

_~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~_

"Clarke?" A soft feminine voice said from behind her. Clarke turned in her stool and came around to look directly into the searching brown eyes of Raven.

"Raven." Clarke said with surprise, even though she had seen the woman walk in earlier.

"Hey." She smiled and pointed at the stool next to Clarke, "Is it ok if I sit?" She asked and waited.

"Of course!" Clarke smiled in return and scooted her legs out of the way a bit so that Raven could easily slide on the the seat. She looked up to see Shaw sitting down on a stool further down the bar and striking up a conversation with Bellamy.

"He told me he had been talking to you before he noticed me walking in." Raven nodded towards Shaw. "I figured I should come say hi since I'd been spotted." She stated with a shrug.

"Sure you're not just trying to get away from him?" Clarke laughed and Raven laughed along with her.

"No, he actually seemed kind of sweet. Is he a good guy?" She suddenly asked and eyed Clarke for her reaction.

"Ya he is. I've known him for about twelve years now. He's one of the nicest people I've ever met."

Raven nodded her head, "He said you once planned on marrying him?"

"Oh my gosh." Clarke moaned and brought her palm up to her forehead. "I never should have said that out loud!"

"So you weren't actually like an item then?" Raven smiled.

"No! He was just my best friend's brother's best friend." Clarke awkwardly tried to explain the dynamic of their relationship. "I just thought he was hot when I was younger." She shrugged and took a sip of her water. "So, what are you doing here? In Washington, I mean. I thought you lived in North Carolina?"

"Well I did." Raven nodded. "Unfortunately the reason I had shown up that night that I discovered Finn had been cheating on me with you," She paused and rolled her eyes, "was because I was going to surprise him and tell him I had transferred here."

"Ouch." Clarke said.

"Ya." Raven sighed. "And it was such a mess to get everything transferred here so I didn't want to bother transferring it all back. I only have one more year anyways." She shrugged

"Well," Clarke started before officially deciding she wanted to make the offer, "If you ever need friends mine always love adding to the group. I will warn you though, we're kind of an odd bunch." She laughed.

"Does _he_ come with the group?" She pointed at Shaw and smiled.

"Not usually, but I have a feeling he'd be around a lot more if you joined us." The two girls laughed causing both Shaw and Bellamy to look their way.

"So who's the hottie behind the bar?" Raven raised her eyebrows once the boys resumed their conversation.

"That's Bellamy. He's my best friend's brother." Clarke explained. Raven gave her a confused look,

"Oh, I thought Shaw said you were dating a guy named Bellamy?"

"Shaw apparently likes to say a lot of untrue things about me. But don't worry, he's usually not a liar." She rushed to say when Raven frowned.

Clarke looked away from the girl and discreetly looked in Bellamy's direction. He was busy animatedly telling Shaw something when he flashed a large smile suddenly. Clarke blinked and felt her own mouth tilt up in a small smile of her own.

"I'm not so sure Shaw was lying about you two." Raven observed.

Clarke laughed nervously and rolled her eyes for good measure, not wanting to let on that maybe something had changed in the way she felt towards the man. Movement off to the side caught Clarke's attention and when she focused on the moving forms that walked up towards Shaw she realized it was Octavia and Lincoln. She watched as Lincoln slapped Shaw on the back and laughed at something just as Octavia's eyes caught hers. The woman said something to Lincoln who looked up at Clarke and offered a small wave. Then Octavia was heading in her direction. 

"Hey." Octavia said quietly eyeing Clarke and Raven.

"Hey, O." Clarke smiled. Octavia suddenly seemed to relax and she took the seat next to Raven that was just around the corner of the smooth wooden bar. 

"Clarke, I'm really sorry for the way I've been lately." She said looking down at the bar. "I don't know why it rubbed me the wrong way when you turned to Bellamy instead of me. But Lincoln reminded me that nothing is worth losing your friendship. And he informed me that I was seriously being an idiot." Octavia sighed and continued to fidget in her seat.

"I should probably go and let you guys talk." Raven said as she began to stand.

"No, it's ok Raven." Clarke shook her head. "All is forgiven O." She smiled at her friend who looked up at her finally. "I get it." She nodded.

"Well I'm glad someone does." Octavia smiled, "Because I sure don't. But just so you know," She leaned forward and caught Clarke's eye, "I've decided I would actually be ok with you and Bellamy being together. You know, when that happens." She raised her eyebrows at Clarke and gave her a mischievous grin.

"You're about the fourth person today to allude to something going on between us." Clarke grumbled, "No wait, make that five." After she recalled Murphy calling her out on her feelings for Bellamy earlier in the day.

"Well, if the shoe fits." Octavia laughed and then turned to Raven, "I'm Octavia by the way." She said and held out her hand.

"Raven." The other girl smiled and shook her hand.

"Wait. Raven. As in...?"

"As in the other woman." She grinned and nodded.

"And you two are.."

"Getting along." Clarke said with a smile.

"Cool." Octavia shrugged.

Bellamy suddenly appeared in front of them and gave Octavia an odd look.

"Hey big brother." She smiled at him.

"O." He said with confusion.

"Oh right, you weren't here a second ago. I'm no longer mad." She simply stated with a wave of her hand.

"Ok...."

"Can we get some shots please? We need to celebrate." She drummed her fingers on the bar and hopped up and down in her seat causing Bellamy to smile and shake his head. He looked over at Raven and Clarke with a questioning look.

"I'm down for shots." Raven said.

"Why not?" Clarke sighed.

Bellamy leaned down on the bar in front of Clarke and gave her a look, "Oh, so for them you'll try something new?" Bellamy laughed and then stood to walk away.

"He is so in love with you." Raven hissed at Clarke and Octavia laughed.

"Now that I think about it, I'm pretty sure he has been for the last few years." The Blake sibling quipped.

"O!" Clarke exclaimed, "That is not true at all."

"Well he's always cared about you. So I guess it just makes sense that it would end up morphing into love." She shrugged.

"Octavia Blake," Clarke started but shut her mouth when Bellamy appeared with several shot glasses and a bottle of clear liquid. He poured the drinks and gave her a smirk.

"To old friends and new ones." Octavia said while lifting up a shot glass.

"Here, here!" Raven and Clarke shouted after grabbing their own. They downed their drinks and Clarke let out a sudden fit of coughing. The other girls laughed and pushed more of the glasses towards her.

"It gets easier." Raven laughed.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

_"And this is Jasper and this is......Monty. They like to get high." Octavia whispered the last part behind her hand, though she actually said it loud enough for everyone to hear despite the loud music._

_"I know, O." Bellamy sighed with an irritated groan._

_"And that's Harper. I'm pretty sure she and Monty are hiding the fact that they're into each other." Harper and Monty looked at one another with shy smiles as Bellamy grabbed at Octavia's arm and tried to ease her towards the door._

_"O, I've met all of your friends." Bellamy said dismissively. "I've even hung out with them once before, remember?" He asked._

_"Oh, right. Right." She nodded her head. Suddenly she beamed at Clarke who was standing by the door waiting for the two Blake siblings._

_"And that is my favorite person in the whole wide world!" Octavia exclaimed. "Besides you of course." She patted Bellamy on the chest. "Clarke! Have you met my brother?!" She shouted at the girl who was only two or so feet away from her._

_"Ok, how much did she have to drink?" Bellamy glared at Clarke._

_"I honestly don't know." She shrugged. "I was in the kitchen with Harper, but only for like twenty minutes. Then I came out and she was like this!" Clarke began to wring her hands. "Is she going to be ok?" She asked Bellamy nervously._

_"Oh, she'll have one hell of a hangover tomorrow. But she'll survive." He grumbled and gently shoved his sister out the door._

_"I can hear you two talking about me!" Octavia whined as Clarke followed them into the hall and closed the door._

_"We weren't trying to be subtle, O." Bellamy retorted. He helped her walk down the four flights of stairs and out to his car. He opened the passenger door and eased her in before he stood back up and closed the door. After he had made sure she was lightly dozing he turned on Clarke and glared at her._

_"How the hell did this happen?" He snapped at her._

_"I already told you, I don't know." Clarke argued back._

_"She's not even twenty-one yet!" He growled. "Neither are you!" He eyed her._

_"I didn't have anything to drink, Bellamy!" She shouted, feeling the heat of anger rising inside of her. "This is not my fault! She's a big girl, she makes her own choices!"_

_Suddenly Bellamy's eyes softened from their angry glare and he seemed to deflate in front of her._

_"I know." He groaned and ran his hand down his face. "Thanks for calling me." He added._

_"Well I didn't really think I'd be able to help her down all those stairs by myself." Clarke said with an irritated shrug._

_"That would have been a sight to see." Bellamy suddenly chuckled. He eased his back against the car and sighed. "What am I going to do with her, Clarke?" He quietly asked._

_"Lots of college kids get drunk, Bellamy." Clarke shrugged again._

_"But haven't you noticed how she's become a completely different person lately?" He asked her with a serious expression._

_"You mean how she acts like she could care less about school and wants to party or go out all of the time? Ya, I've noticed."_

_"I'm trying to get her to take school seriously. I've tried to get her to understand that this is not a good path to go down."_

_"Do you want my honest opinion?" Clarke cocked her head to the side and waited for him to laugh at her or tell her to get lost._

_"Please." Was all he said with a slightly disgruntled sigh._

_"You need to back off. Let her be an adult. The more you crack down on her the more she'll rebel. That's just Octavia's nature. She doesn't like being told what to do."_

_Bellamy just stared at her and Clarke wondered how long he'd yell at her for once he got his thoughts in order._

_"When did you become so wise?" He genuinely asked her._

_"Uh.."  Clarke blanked and stared at him._

_"Maybe it is time that I let her grow up." He nodded. "Let her make her own decisions. Maybe let her get that apartment with you like she's been talking about?" He looked at her for confirmation and sighed when Clarke nodded._

_"Alright then." He said and pushed away from the car. "Thanks, Princess." He walked around to the other side of the car and began to open the door when he suddenly stopped and looked at her over the roof of the car._

_"By the way, you're asking for trouble in that skirt." He made a point to look down at the mini skirt Clarke had borrowed from Octavia._

_"Bellamy, you're not my dad." She huffed and moved to turn around and return to her friend's party._

_"I'm just saying." He added flippantly while pulling his door open, "don't go getting into a cab or Uber with some stranger in that thing."_

_"Way to ruin the moment, Blake." She shouted over her shoulder as she walked away._

_~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~_

 

 "So I'm confused." Clarke leaned on her stool and nearly bumped her nose into Raven's shoulder. "Does Lincoln know Shaw?"

"Huh?" Octavia looked up from the impressively large tower of shot glasses that she was making.

"Shaw and Lincoln." Clarke repeated with a slight slur. Octavia looked over at the men Clarke mentioned.

"Oh, ya." She waved in their direction. "I guess they served together in Iraq. Small world!" She suddenly exclaimed and made Clarke jump.

"You guys are drunk." Lincoln suddenly said from next to Octavia.

"No, I'm totally fine." She smiled up at him but couldn't quite focus. "But Clarke is wasted." She doubled over in laughter and Lincoln shook his head at her.

"Apparently they can't hold their liquor." Raven grinned at Shaw as he and Bellamy made their way over to the girls as well. 

"O, do not put one more glass on that tower or I will kill you. They are going to fall!" Bellamy grumbled and reached out to start dismantling her strategically balanced masterpiece.

"You are no fun." She pouted. "Lincoln! We should go get some food!" She suddenly shouted at him even though he was right next to her.

"You definitely need something other than alcohol in your system." He sighed and helped her stand.

"Buh bye guys!" She waved. "Raven, come by sometime. You're fun." She laughed and allowed Lincoln to pull her out of the bar.

Clarke began to reach for the last shot glass in front of her but it suddenly vanished. She scrunched up her eyebrows in confusion and looked up to see Bellamy eyeing her.

"I think you've had more than enough." He said to her before he handed her a fresh glass of water.

"You really are no fun." She waved him off and downed half of the water.

"Hey Murphy!" Bellamy suddenly shouted causing Clarke to look up and around the bar only to discover it was empty except for her friends who were busy playing pool.

"What do you want?" Came Murphy's snarky reply.

"Are you good to drive Clarke home?" Bellamy asked.

"Hahahaha!!" Murphy suddenly let out a loud obnoxious laugh, "Do I seem like the type of person that gets made designated driver?" He yelled back. "Besides, I'm staying with Jasper and Monty tonight." 

"I get to drive them all home." Harper grumbled. "I'd offer to take Clarke as well but there aren't enough seats in my car." She added.

"What about you?" Bellamy turned towards Shaw and asked.

"I rode with Roan, which means I'm probably getting an Uber." He shrugged.

"I rode with friends too, who are now gone." Raven realized as she looked around the room.

"Want to split a ride?" Shaw smiled at her and the two began to talk to one another as though no one else was in the room.

"Well, I guess that leaves me then." Bellamy grumbled.

 

"Clarke, the seatbelt clicks in here." Bellamy laughed after he grabbed the cold metal object from her hand and secured it. She had been looking at the contraption for a few moments with a completely confused look.

"In all of the years that I have known you I'm pretty sure this is the first time I have ever seen you drunk." He teased as he pulled away from his parking spot.

"I never liked the idea of being all..." She made a crazy face and moved her hands around her head.

"I have no idea what that just was, but please don't ever do it again." He eased the car along the streets and quietly eyed her every so often.

"Wait, are you taking me home?" She suddenly sat up and placed her hands on the dash.

"It's 2 AM. Where else would I be taking you?" He asked.

"I'll just sleep on your couch tonight." She said, leaning back against the leather seat. "I don't want to go back to my depressing apartment." She admitted.

"Clarke," He said softly, "You can't sleep at my house tonight."

"Why not?" She looked over at him.

"Because people tend to do dumb things when they're drunk." He said not looking at her. Clarke's face grew hot at what he was implying.

"You're not drunk." She suddenly pointed out.

"I don't need the added temptation, Clarke." He quietly replied to her as he pulled up to her building. 

He moved the gearshift into the neutral position and shut the car off after he pulled on the parking brake. Without looking at Clarke he eased his door open and stepped out into the cold dark night. The chill in the air helped relax the nerves that had suddenly sprung up when he had basically admitted to the drunk woman in his car that he was starting to think of her as more than just his little sister's friend. He moved to slam his door when he noticed Clarke's foot just barely sticking out. He leaned down and took in the awkward position that Clarke had found herself in as she had tried to climb over the gearshift and driver's seat from her seat.

"Clarke, What are you doing?" He groaned

"I thought this would be easier." She huffed as she tried to pull her foot back towards her body. 

"How is this easier?" He laughed and reached in to help her reposition herself and then crawl over the seat.

"See!" She said after she came to a stand next to him. "I did it." She stated triumphantly, earning herself a halfhearted eye roll from Bellamy.

"Ya. Ok, princess." He laughed and caught her as she started to wobble on her feet. He pushed the car door closed and helped Clarke to her door.

They stood at her door for a few minutes as Clarke tried to dig out her keys from her purse. She suddenly twirled around to stand directly in front of him and held up her keys with a grin.

"Found them!" She exclaimed. Bellamy grinned down at her and she thought she saw his eyes flicker to her lips. Without much thought Clarke reached up onto her toes and grabbed onto the front of Bellamy's jacket, pulling him down towards her. She then crushed her lips to his. Bellamy froze under her touch and stood absolutely still. Clarke's brain started shouting at her to stop but then a strong warm hand was cupping her face and Bellamy began to kiss her back. A feeling like fireworks began to burn its way through Clarke's stomach all the way down to her toes as Bellamy's hand slid back into her hair and his fingers got tangled in the soft blonde waves. 

Clarke's lips suddenly grew cold and lonely when Bellamy broke away from her and pulled his hand back until it was cupping her cheek again. She opened her eyes and caught him looking down at her with a soft smile. He traced his thumb along her cheek bone and looked at her for another moment.

"We should probably put that on hold until you're sober." He laughed at her slightly unfocused eyes.

"You're no fun." She teased him.

"You'll be thanking me in the morning if you realize you've changed your mind." He laughed again and took the keys out of her hand and slipped passed her to unlock her door. Clarke suddenly grabbed his wrist and waited for him to look back over at her.

"I won't change my mind, Bellamy." She nearly whispered.

"I hope not, Princess." He grinned back at her. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok guys, this ends part one!  
> But I can't stop there!  
> But, I should probably force myself to take a break and write my own book...or get back to the many other responsibilities in life ;)  
> Part 2 coming soon!
> 
> Thanks for all the love and comments! It has been such a joy to write this!!

**Author's Note:**

> Basically I'm having some serious writers block with my book right now and I can't wait for season 6 of The 100. 
> 
> I can't believe I once loved Finn for Clarke. Truth be told I did not understand the Bellarke ship At All. But I'm on board guys. So look out for some cuteness. 
> 
> Comments and kudos are always appreciated!


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